Urges
by Stephycats7785
Summary: I am not a man but a monster. There is a part of me only one person has ever seen and this person is not who you would beleive. Alice may know the man and the man in me loves my wife. The monster part of me will alway belong to Leah Clearwater.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Urges**

**Rating: M**

**Pairing: Leah/Jasper**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

**Summary: I am not a man but a monster. There is a part of me only one person has ever seen and this person is not who you would beleive. Alice may know the man and the man in me loves my wife. The monster in me is another story. The monster part of me will always belong to Leah Clearwater.**

**AN: I was listening to Skillet and the song Monster, while listening to it I was hit with this idea. I love Alice and Jasper and think they are perfect. But I always wondered about Jasper's darkside. He was an evil vampire for a long time and I don't think his urges vanished in thin air. **

**He wouldn't want to hurt Alice because he sees her as innocent and his savior. He would never want to taint her. Alice in my opinion would probably want this for him because she knows he needs it.**

**I thought Leah would be a good choice because of how she seems to like pain. I mean she likes to create mental ways to torment people, so I thought she would probably be rough physically as well. I really think they could bring out the animal in eachother.**

I could feel the violent hiss snake between my teeth as her nails pressed threw the material of my shirt and sank into the skin of my shoulder. The slight discomfort her action caused was a welcome relief. Her pain gave me what I needed. She gave me what I'd been missing for three weeks. Nearly a month has passed since our last meeting and my body is starved for it. She is like a drug and the longer I stay away the worse my craving for her becomes.

"Tell me leech...Did you miss me? Midget just not giving you what you need?" Leah Clearwater's words reached my ears. I could hear the demeaning way she spoke of my wife as if she knew how much it got to me.

My left hand wich was gripping her shoulder tightened it's grasp enough to cause her pain. I could see her wince under the pressure of my fingers. "Don't you talk about Alice with such disrespect."

The shapeshifters only reaction was to sneer and dig her fingernails deeper into my skin. I could feel the muscles in my neck tighten with anticipation. "Her cold lips just not having the same effect anymore? Or is it you? Are you unable to get it up anymore old man?"

The native american wolf slid her hand, which reminded me of a branding iron because of the heat she radiated, up my thigh. She curved her fingers just enough so I could feel her nails pressing against me. A growl was building up in the deep hollow of my throat. "No..It's definately not anything your doing wrong. It must be the little freak. Maybe your hungry for something warm and alive instead of something cold and dead."

"Shut up mutt." To show her I was serious I bent forward to take the shell of her ear between my teeth and bite down. The pressure was enough to earn a small throaty moan from the she wolf. I slide my tonge over the dent my teeth had left and smirked when her breath caught in her throat.

"Admit it parasite, your little bloodsucking wife can't give you what you need." The russet skinned beauty brushed her lips against mine before running her tongue over my bottom lip.

Moving faster than she could anticipate I pressed the length of my entire body against her. This causing her to press against the wall. Bringing my lips inches from her face I snarled once more. "Shut your mouth. Alice is perfect, sweet, loving, beautiful, smart-"

"She could president of the USA and still not be able to give you what I can." My rant had been cut off by Leah when she places her index finger over my lips. The heat burns me in a way that's both pleasurable and painful at the same time. She slowly slid her finger away only to replace it with her lips.

"Leah." I said her name with as much anger as I could muster. I even sent a wave of my anger in her direction but she did not feel one ounce of fear.

If I was being honest with myself, I knew Leah liked it when I was angry. She knew she was the only person who would ever be allowed to see the beast I kept hidden inside. A part of me wondered if she felt special knowing this. Leah was not like other people and because of this fact I could never be sure why she allowed me to do the things to her I did. The she wolf begged me to do things no other living being would ever want done to them. Did my liking the fact she liked the pain I gave her make me a masochist?

"You need me." She moves slowly as if trying to kill me from the intense desire I felt while watching her slow sensual movements. A small smirk curved her lips and she slid both her hands under my shirt. Her movements were feather light and the lingering desire they left in there wake had me nearly shaking in my boots. "You will never be able to be yourself with the midget and she knows it."

As she spoke Leah's talented hands jerked my shirt up my chest and over my head. Instead of throwing the item of clothing to the floor she places her hands inside the holes and twisted the material so it resembed her hands being lodged in chains. The she wolf raised them above her head.

"Your wife gives you permission to fuck another woman because she can't handle the beast inside of you. The monster scares her to the point of tears. If she could cry I mean. You frighten your own wife. What you are even she cannot find it in her to love." Her speech pauses when her tongue darts out to wet her lips. "Your a monster. A killer with no soul. No matter how much you try to fit in you will never belong in their world. Your to fucked up to blend in with them."

My eyes snapped shut and I tried to ignore her words. They were sharp and merciless. They stung because I knew they were the truth. Clenching my teeth I start to shake my head in a no gesture. I was like my family. I was a good man. A man who Alice loved. A man who didn't kill innocents anymore. I was a good man. A decent man. I was better than a monster. I had tamed my monstered when I found my wife. "No.." The sound of my voice snapped me out of my trance. I felt shakey and unsure but then those feelings were replaced with raw anger. "No!" The word was now a fierce growl as it left my lips.

The young shifters brown eyes narrowed in challenge. "Yes." Her eyes widened when she felt my cold stone fingers encircle her wrists. She tried jerking them from my grasp. "Monster. Killer. That's what you are Jasper Whitlock Hale. A filthy animal who thinks he can be house broken. When will you realize you can never be one of them? We don't belong in their world and you know it. If you really beleived any of the bullshit you spout you would be with your wife right now. You would be cuddling against the fire or some other fairy tale shit. Take a look around you bloodsucker. Alice isn't here. I am and know you like it better this way."

I nashed my teeth together before lunging forward to capture her mouth with mine. My left hand traveled to her cheek and I held her face tightly between my thumb and index finger. When she only whimpered I felt the need to squeeze tighter and I could feel her try to cry out in my mouth. The sound unlocked something inside of my body and I grabbed her upper thigh with my free hand and brought it up to wrap around my waist.

Tearing my lips from hers I rested my forhead against hers. I could feel her warm breath hit my face. "What does this make you Leah? You can't stay away from me either. It's because you need what I can give you."

Her earlier actions and words susceeded in the task they'd been asigned. She managed to anger me and set my monster loose. It's what she wanted and what we both needed. It always started off in this manner. I'd be hesitant and unsure as I doubted what we were about to do. Leah could some how sense what I was feeling and she would start in with insults and verbal assaults. In the end I would loose my internal battle and give into to my more animal instincts. After all I was very much an animal inside.

In reality this had all been Alice's idea. My wife knew I could never fully allow my guard to fall around her. She was to pure and innocent. I could never let myself loose for fear of hurting her. My past is not a pretty one and after living the life I have, I know parts of myself can never completely vanish. There will always be a darkness that covers my soul. There is a sort of violence that has lodged itself inside the deepest part of my soul and I cannot pry it out no matter how hard I try.

Placing my hand on her ass I pulled her into me. I could feel her warmth even threw the tight blue jean shorts she wore. I could feel her heartrate quicken when I slid my hips to the left ever so slightly. Leah moaned and ground her hips against me. Tonight would help me get rid of some of the tension inside of me and that is what I needed.

**AN: This will be about a 3 or 4 shot at most. Be warned it is mostly sex with some conversation. Please R&R like always!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin_  
_I must confess that I feel like a monster_  
_I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun_  
_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_Monster By skillet_

When I attacked Leah's mouth savagely with mine again she took the oppurtunity to unbind her hands from my shirt. She tossed the peice of cloth, now torn from her violent efforts to escape it's confines, to the floor. Her freed left hand flew to my face and her fingers, like talons cut deep into the stone flesh of my cheekbone. She yanked her hand downwards and I could feel the cracks from her fingers deepening on my face.

The sensation was very painful but pain to me was connected directly to my pleasure. It came from years of torture and then rewards when I had been with Maria. It had been built into who I am. I could not have pain or pleasure without the other. To me they were one in the same. Pain, like the rough and violent sex I had with Leah Clearwater, had become my addiction.

"Do you remember what's it is like to drink human blood?" The she wolf taunted while leaving harsh and painful bites down my chest and stomach. My stone like skin cracked and then sewed itself back together quickly. "The warmth of the liquid must have made you feel human for a few moments atleast am I right? Did it make you feel alive? Knowing you took someone's life to continue your life as a killer gave you a rush didn't it? You probably _got off _on it. You sick freak."

Her fist slammed into my gut and if I'd needed to breath it would have been knocked out of me momentarily. Seconds after the impact I felt her warm breath caress the same spot and teeth like razors gently brushing over the skin in a pleasant torture. The she wolf was extremely talented when it came to applying just the right amount of pain mixed with sweet almost romantic touches. Better than even Maria herself had been and for the longest time I thought her to be the master of this particular art.

"Did you kill children too? I bet you liked to hear them scream. Maybe you even got off on that as well. Wouldn't suprise you Jack the Ripper wannabe. Tell me Jasper my little serial killer because I am curious. Would they ever beg for you to spare them?" Suddenly the eldest Clearwater child fell to her knees and clasped her hands together in a begging gesture while she looked up at me with an innocent and frightened expression.

Her tone became realistically childlike. "Please Mr. Scary Vampire don't kill me! I'm just a child. I have a little brother and dog named Fido. My mommy and daddy will be sad if you tear my throat out. Why do you want to me? What did I do wrong? Was I a naughty girl? Are the angels mad at me? Are you the devil?

My daddy says if your bad the devil comes and takes you away. Are you going to take me away? Please! I wanna stay with my family! I wanna get married and have babies when I grow up. I want to finish school and become a famous actress. Why don't you want me to grow up?

You want to take away my life before it has even started? Please I beg you to let me go home." Leah forced up fake sobs. "I'll do whatever you want! I will say my prayers every night. I won't be mean to brother no more. I promise to do all my homework and never cheat. I will be a good girl I promise."

Biting her bottom lip her eyes welled with fake tears and each one tore at my unbeating heart. I suspected she planned her words to have this affect. Why else would she say them if not meaning for them to cause me unbearable pain? "Don't take away my soul because you don't have one. Why must I pay because your a bad man?"

Roaring at her I snapped. I couldn't take her taunting words. Her accusations about who I'd been in the past. I grabbed her by the upper arms and slammed her into the wall. My forearm pressed against her throat. I focused on cutting off her breathing rather the memories of crying children and pleading mothers begging me to take them instead.

As punishment sometimes Maria would bring only infants or toddlers for us to feed on. Unless she were feeling extra vindictive then we would get pregnant woman or young children _and_ their mothers. I can still hear the cries and screams as my newborn brothers and I would sink our teeth into their skin without a care or second thought as to the lives we were destroying.

Leah's struggle for breath brought my attention back to her and out of the past. A past that would forever haunt me. Where ghosts constantly tried to chase me down. One day they would catch me and I would pay. I'd pay for what I had done and I knew I would deserve nothing less. The punishment they bestowed upon me I would take without complaint. I had earned the torture in hell I would one day recieve.

Loosing the pressure on the she wolf's windpipe I threw her down to the floor with a violent force. I heard the smack when the back of her head met the wooden floor boards. Climbing on top of her I grabbed each side of her shirt with one of my hands and then pulled in opposite directions. The material made a ripping sound and it broke into two peices.

"Killer.." Leah again tried to piss me off. To hurt me so I would in turn hurt her back. "Fucking murderer." The she wolf sneered in cruelty.

Hissing I took her bottom lip between my teeth and bit down breaking the skin. The first time Leah and I violent relations we'd come to learn my vemon did not kill her. (I am ashamed to admit I had lost control to the point I sank my fangs into the soft flesh of her throat.) It hurt like a bitch according to her but death did not seem to be a reaction or fear she needed to have when with me. We could only assume it had something to do with her being a she wolf. Maybe a defense mechanism of some sort.

"Shut your fucking mouth!" I snapped before taking a rather large bite into the area under her left breast.

Her scream filled the air while at the same time my actions caused her hips to buck up into mine wildly. Sometimes I honestly wondered if Leah Clearwater had a death wish. The way she deliberately got me to the point where I wanted nothing more than to shut her up permanently. She's lucky I have _some _self control. Besides if I killed her who would I have to share these phycho like feelings and desires with?

The she wolf grabbed a fistful of my hair and I mirrored her actions. We were both snarling and growling but her snarls eventually turned into a mocking remark. "What are you going to if I don't shut my fucking mouth _Jasper_? Are you going to _make_ me? I dare you to try if you think you can my little physcho. Give it your best shot."

Pressing the heel of both hands into her shoulder blades I kept her pinned down to the floor. "You do _not _want to tempt me right now Clearwater." My tone was dark and dangerous and despite my best efforts, filled with lust. Not romantic lust mind you but _raw, vampiric, animalistic _lust.

Her chocolate brown orbs locked with my black ones. "I _dare _you to give it your best shot _Major Whitlock_."

Her words are what sealed the deal. Only Maria ever dared to call me Major Whitlock and not have to worry about death. I had once, in a moment of truthful insanity, confessed to Leah about how my sire used to use that as her pet name. It seems Leah had found yet _another_ new weapon created only to piss me off.

This time it had worked. There wasn't a chance of going back now. Leah and I had reached the point of no return in our weekend long activities. The point she had been slyly pushing me towards all evening. I was no longer _Alice's_ Jasper but suddenly I had been replaced with a darker side of myself. I was as of this moment _Leah's_ Jasper.

TBC...

**AN: First of all I want to say thank you all for your reviews in the first chapter! I honestly did not think I would be getting the response that I did for a Leaper story. Especially a dark Leaper story. Your reviews made my day! So again thank you all for taking the time to send me a comment about the first chapter.**

**Secondly, I wanted to inform all you lovely readers that I have decided to turn this origionally planned 3 or 4 shot into a full blown story! I was hit with ideas and inspiration so I must turn this into a longer story with more plot and obviously loads more sex between Leah and Jasper lol. I hope that makes you all happy for I know it certianly makes **_**my **_**day!**

**Anyways I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Leah can be very cruel when trying to get under Jasper's skin and Jasper can never seem to handle it. He always snaps which is why Leah does it of course! So please let me know what you thought :) I like hearing your theories or what you liked or did not like as long as it is not flames.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

_Flashback- How it all started_

"Alice please just leave it be." I snapped in irritation at my wife.

I knew my eternal pixie only held concern in her heart and that is why she was overly persistant. I honestly tried to remember this as continued to try and convince to allow myself to let my 'darker' personality come out to play. She realized how whenever I became as she called it 'cranky' it would be when my former self was trying to come out and take over for a short time.

I cannot recall all the time I have told her I refuse to let her see me in such a way. Alice is a good and pure person who never will deserve to catch a glimpse of the _real _killer inside of her husband. I'd leave the Cullen family before I allowed her to ever see the deepest blackest parts of my soul. It takes a certian kind of person to handle the monster in me and as much as I wished it Alice could never be this kind of person.

I saw Edward's eyes flick to mine when he heard this thought. I also read the disaproval in his expression. My mind reading brother and I had conversation about this specific topic in the past. He thought I should give Alice a chance to prove herself and I vehemently disagreed. If I gave Alice that chance she would see the real me and run off scared. Of this I was certian.

"Jasper please." I sighed and looked down in big round golden eyes. "I love you Jazz. Let me do this for you. Let me help you."

My wife stood on her tip toes as her hand caressed my cheek. I tried to turn my face away but she would not allow me to do so. She forced my eyes to meet hers. I wanted to look away. She needed not see me in such a weak moment. It would blow over in a week or so. In the meantime I would consentrate on hunting. The agression and violence which took over when I lost myself to a hunt usually somewhat dimmed by natural urges.

Try as I might I could not seem to make my smile as reassuring as I intended. "Ali I have dealt with this for years. You don't need to do anything. It will pass as it always does and things will go back to normal."

Much to my dismay I saw my wife's beautiful face fall with sadness. "Jasper you have said this for years and it doesn't seem to be getting better. In fact it seems to be getting more intense as time goes on. If you do not find an outlet for this agression you will end up hating me Jasper. Hating that I could not be enough."

Alice's broken emotion of despair hit me directly in the middle of my chest. It coiled around me as if it were a snake readying itself to strike. Running my fingers through her hair I tried to envelope her with a wave of calm. Yet it did not seem to work when her despair continued to choke me. Could she not see I to be doing what's in her best interest? It's all I have ever tried to do.

Opening my mouth to answer her the words never got a chance to come out. The front door burst open and in come of my least favorite shifters. Leah Clearwater. The girl with the biggest chip on her shoulder. The one wolf I could not find it within myself to be cival with. The one girl on the entire planet I wished would just vanish from the face of this earth.

I will never understand how Leah Clearwater can hate my family for something we have no control over. None of us asked for her families wolf genes to kick in causing them to phase. We never asked them to fight in the New Born battles at our sides. I would've preferred if they hadn't actually.

It is not like we pushed Sam Uley into the arms of Emily Young or forced Jacob to imprint on Edward and Bella's daughter. Not a single member of this family ever brainwashed her kid brother to into befriending my brothers and I. Yet she blamed us for everything which had gone wrong in her life. Her fathers death, loosing Sam, phasing, never being able to have children.

We were the cause of it all and I had become tired of her accusations a long time ago. She's not the only person in this world who suffers yet somehow for some reason unknown to anyone else her pain outweighs anyone elses no matter how severe it may be. The smallest wolf was extremely self centered if you ask me.

"You!" The girl wolf let her eyes scan the room before they landed on me. She stormed over and shoved Alice out of the way. I gritted my teeth getting ready to lay my hands on her for touching my wife. "Your the one who knows how to fight right?"

Her words caught me by suprise. I raised my eyebrow and wrapped an arm around Alice's shoulder pulling her against my side. "I suppose you could say that yes. Why?"

Leah looked at me like I was brain dead. "Because your going to teach me to fight dumbass."

Rolling my shoulders I straightened up. "Oh I am? When did _I _decided to teach _you _anything?"

"_You _don't get to decide anything." She snapped her eyes narrowing into slits. "Your family _owes _me this. After anything my brother and I have done for you. After everything _Jacob _has done for you parasites. All we have lost. You fucking owe this one little thing."

I clenched my teeth together in annoyance. "You cannot just come in here and demand things mutt! If you-"

A tugging on my sleeve caught my attention. I looked down at my wife. "Jasper I think you should do this. It would be a good way for you to let off steam." The way she said the word made me realize what she had in mind. What she was hoping I would do with the dog. My eyes widened in horror and she continued on with her little pep talk. "You don't want to hurt me but if you hurt her it will not bother you. You hate Leah and she hates you. This is _perfect _Jazz."

I started to shake my head no. I could not do something like that to Alice. To willing fuck another woman? To hurt another woman just so I could gain a moments releif? It was wrong and yet at the same time oh so tempting. When Alice bit her bottom lip looking as if she would cry I knew this may be my only choice. I did not want to hurt Alice anymore than I already was.

Letting out a sigh I locked eyes with Leah Clearwater. Maybe this could work. Maybe it would do use both good to let out a little steam. Right now it was better than taking the chance of hurting Alice. Anything was better than that.

TBC...

**AN: I wanted to do a short flashback. There will be flashbacks all through this story. So let me know what you think :)**

**Please R&R like always!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone from Twilight!**

_Flashback- How It Started Continued_

Standing in the clearing in the woods I had chosen as a perfect place to practice with the wolf girl I continued to take lazy swings as she dodged them. High swing with my right hand and she ducked down low. Low left swing and she would crouch so low she almost touched the ground. We continued on with this routine for a few minutes before she started to grow bored.

"Is this really your idea of training emo boy?" She dodged yet another lazy throw and threw one of her own.

Her punch connected with my right cheek bone and felt the bone shatter. I hissed and grabbed her arm when she went to repeat the action. Twisting I took her down to her knees. "Lesson the first she wolf. You never want to get to cocky early on. If you can't control your ego you will end up dead in a matter of minutes."

Releasing her arm I took a step away from her. Leah got back up to feet without rubbing her arm. She did not cry and this confused me greatly. Wouldn't most women I know cry if they felt even an ounce of pain? Shouldn't the she wolves eyes be welling up with tears as she begs me to go easy on her? She should be backing away instead of getting closer.

The look of anger of her face also took me by suprise. No hint of pain just blatant anger at the fact I had taken her down. I could not fe_el _any trace of fear nor worry hiding within her emotions. Once more I all I could _feel _was uncontrollable rage as she launched herself in my direction trying to use her body weight to take me down.

Her dark fists flew at my face and I easily pushed them away with my hands. This seemed to caused her anger to sky rocket as she raised her booted foot trying to connect with my abdomen. I caught her by the ankle and yanked causing her to loose her balance while her head met the hard forest floor. Her growl echoed through the entire forest emptying it of smaller wildlife immediately.

When she went to push herself up I grabbed her by the shoulders and flipped her onto her stomach. My knee digging into her back while I grabbed her arms wrenching them behind her back. The more she struggled the more pressure I would push against her spine. If she did not calm down and use her brain she could end up snapping her spine. Fighting was more than just physical moves it involved brains as well.

"Lesson the second and third shifter. You cannot let your emotions get the better of you. In battle they do you no good than other than to hinder you from using your full potential. Emotions cloud the thought pattern. They tell you to one thing while the fighter part of your brain wishes you to do something else. Emotions on the battle field are what will get you killed the quickest."

I moved her arms together so I was able to hold them in one hand instead of two. Pinning her arms above her head I took a hand full of her hair and bent her head until her cheek ended up resting on the earth floor. She didn't need to end up with a mouthful of soil in her mouth.

"Should be easy for you leech your dead inside. You don't feel _anything. _It makes you the perfect killing machine." The native american females tone was raspy and uneven. She forced herself to get past the physical pain order to throw her biting words my way. They had no effect on me. She would have to do better.

The toe of my combat boot dug into into her hip from the position of my knee pressed deeply into her spine. I pretended to not have heard her. "Lesson three is simple but no less important than the others. If you are in a position where you cannot win do not struggle. Struggling makes you seem weak. Instead choose to stop and re-evaluate the sitution. Use your your head."

I tapped the back of her skull sharply with three fingers. "If you don't use your head then why bother fighting? Strength is only part of the process Leah Clearwater. You can have all the power in the world but in the end it will mean nothing if you come up against someone with more than average intellegence."

"Lucky for me that does not include _you._" She snapped as she started to struggle yet again.

I chuckled darkly and shook my head. I started to get up off of her back when out of nowhere I was sent flying until my back collided with a huge oak. The tree crumbled to splinters instantly and I landed on both feet in a crouch. One hand resting against the ground to keep me on balance. I shook her body quickly to shake off any stray bark from the fallen tree.

Looking up I was met with a huge grey wolf. Our eyes locked and the creatures jaws snapped. Her growl was ment to intimidate me but I let back a feral growl of my own. My arms were stretched at my side daring her to come at me. Her massive paws dug at the earth readying herself to charge forward.

She lept and I braced my body for impact. Fur against cold stone as our bodies crashed together. Her sharp teeth snagging my upper arm below the shoulder. She pulled her head back and I felt the limb wanting to detach. I gritted my teeth against the pain. Bringing my other arm around her neck I struggled for a grip as I threw her away from me.

Jumping we both landed infront of the other. No longer was this simple training. I had offended her and she wanted me dead. She had pissed me off and I was out for her blood. Training time was over. Snarling we circled the other looking for any sign of weakness. Any fault in judgement could get either of us killed.

Her wolf body surged forward once more and I was ready. Choosing to charge forward as well our bodies again met head on. Her paws on my shoulders trying to knock me off my feet. My arms wrapping around her middle trying to crush her bones to dust. Leah yelped as I strengthed my grip and her head snapped around catching my jaw and causing me to loose focus. This allowed her to escape my death grip.

Shaking her big grey head she tried to regain the upper hand while going for my legs. I jumped and landed on the branch of a tree. She whirled around searching for me and I took the oppurtunity caused by her confusion to leap down onto her back. My arms locking around her neck as she thrashed wildly trying to buck me off.

Our joined bodies smashed against a boulder and knocked my grip loose. I tried spinning her around so I would be able to crush her body against the rock. It seemed to be working until her body started to shimmer and shrink. Her jaws shrunk and her paws turned to hand and feet. Soon it was no longer a wolf pressed against the stone but rather a girl. Leah Clearwater.

Her dark hair a mess of tangles. Blood leaked from the corner of her mouth. I must have crushed her ribs badly and maybe crushed a lung as well. Her breathing sounded strange to my ears. Her naked skin bruising rapidly and small cuts closing quickly from her scraping her body against the earth and stone beneath us.

I loosened my hold on her as soon as she returned to human form. Some part of my mind told me this would be murder and I was better than that. Old Major Whitlock would kill her but I was a Cullen. A better man. I couldn't kill her because I did not particularly like her. I had to remember she was human.

The girl in question shoved me away from her and I allowed her to do so. I happened to be in shock at what I had almost done. I hadn't lost control in such way for years. Not since my time with Maria. For once I had not been thinking rationally. I let _my own _emotions get the better of me. My anger had made me see red and I wanted more than anything had been to see her blood on my hands. To know I had wiped Leah Clearwater off the face of the earth.

I could have made some excuse for my actions aswell. I could have claimed she pushed me to far and I had no control over what I'd done. Everyone would forgive me quickly enough. Perhaps her pack would even thank me. They would feel releived she was gone. Maybe that is what stopped me in the end. I did not wish to be a killer anymore. I had to find a better way to get rid of my rage.

"If your going to kill them then do it." She held her arms out and met my appologetic gaze. Her expression pure hate and yet as I read her feelings I could tell she _wanted _me to do it. To finish her off because she would feel at peace finally. "Don't get all sorry now leech. I am just starting to have fun. You wanna kill me then do it! I'm not afraid of you!" She spit at my feet. "I laugh at you for not being able to do it. Go on kill me. DO IT!"

I grabbed her fully intending to give in to her demands and then I saw her eyes. Sadness, pain, anger, despair, and so many emotions I was familiar with. She felt just as I did. Leah was no different than me. We were the same. Both running trying to change. I wanted to be better from the darkness of my past and her broken heart turned her into what I had once been. Bitter and angry.

Looking at her I saw myself and as I leaned in to capture her lips with mine I came to the conclussion that our hate would be what damned us to hell if we were to ever die a final death. Or perhaps our hell was eachother. To make the other feel the pain we craved. I would hurt Leah to forget my past and she would hurt me for whatever her messed up reasons were. We would fuck and fight and tear into eachother until we bled. That's what we needed. It is what we had both secretly came to the other hoping to find.

TBC...

**AN: So you figured out how why they started this messed up relationship of theirs. In the future there will be more flashbacks about how they came to be but in the next one it is back to the present. I hope you all liked how I wrote the fight between them. I don't think Jasper really intended to do anything other than teach her but things have a way of changing. Let me know what you thought!**

**Please R&R like always!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

_Present Time-_

"There he is." Leah purred with a twisted smirk. Her fingers pulling at locks on my hair and her breathing heavy and uneven. "My Jasper."

Her name was nothing more than a growl on the tip of my tongue. "Leah."

I pressed my lips to her throat running my tongue over the salty russet flesh. Sharp fangs nipping and scraping until I could taste small droplets of blood. The wolf girl underneath me groaned and grinded up against me. Her impossibly long legs wrapping around my waist. Her talon like finger nails digging into the skin of my back to the point I could feel my rock like skin crack and feel venom oozing down my back in small lines.

Pulling my head away from her throat I crushed my lips to hers forcing her mouth open with my tongue. I explored the cavern of her mouth roughly taking no care if I accidently sliced open her tongue or lips with my teeth. My tongue violated her mouth but she did not seem to care. The harsher our kiss the more adamantly she responded.

"I'm going to make you scream." I promised after our kiss had ended and I had started tugging on her earlobe since I knew it to be a very sensetive spot for Leah.

The wolf girl rolled us over and began to place sharp bites along my chest on her way downwards. "Not if I can make you scream first."

I smirked because this had become sort of a game between the shifter and I. Everytime we were together it was our mission to make the other scream first. We had losts of little games such as this. Would could make who cum first. Who would scream first. What one out of the two of us would be the first to beg. That one happened to be my favorite.

Placing my hands behind my head I decided to let Leah have her fun. Her downward path told me where this was headed and wouldn't be complaining anytime soon. Leah was very good at giving head. Considering she had to breath she is one of the best at it I have ever met. I kept my eyes locked on the top of head as she unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my hips. My boxer shorts went down with them.

Her small dark hands gripped my hipbones. Her thumb sinking into the skin above the start of my thigh. My unneeded breathing caught in my throat in anticipation as she began to lower her head. My hands tangled in the soft waves of her hair trying to push her down faster and that caused Leah to slow her movement down drastically.

Growling at her know it all smile I thrust my hips upwards but before my member could come in contact with her pouty lips she jerked her head up and away. "Now now Jasper are going to beg already? It takes all the fun away if you give in so early."

Hissing at her teasing I tried for a second time to thrust up into her mouth and for a second time she pulled away. My eyes darkened as anger consumed my entire being. I absolutely detested when she teased me so much. It had been to long and I just wanted her to get to it already.

"Hurry the fuck up." I snarled pulling at her.

Leah just grinned and ran her tongue over my tip. I groaned as my head slammed into the floor and I could hear it crack from the pressure of my skull meeting the wooden surface. My grip of her hair tightened and she whimpered but never asked me to stop. Not that I would have listened to her.

"What was that Jasper?" Leah cocked her head to the side pretending to listen for something. Her face scrunched up in mock concentration. "You know how to get what you want. All you have to do is ask. Well I would love it if you could scream _and _beg at the same time. It would be a double win for me. Not to mention _such _a time saver for me."

When her warm lips touched my tip again I used all my strength to push her head down. This time she did not jerk away and instead opened her mouth and took me in her mouth. Her teeth scraped against my sensetive flesh and I growled. The difference between Alice's cold and Leah's warmth still amazed me. The warmth of her mouth surrounding me burned like a fire.

I moved my hands from her hair to cup her breasts in my ice like hands. I pinched her nipples hoping to get her to beg first. I had learned a while ago that if I got the wolf girl to beg first then she would become enraged and start to get so focused on getting revenge she would get sloppy and I would be able to easily win all three of our games.

Leah seemed to know my game plan because her teeth scraped over my erection even harder and I bucked my hips up and into her mouth. A moan of pain and pleasure gurgled out of my mouth. Her nails dug into my thighs raking down and taking skin in their wake. I hissed and thrashed wildly to the side.

The Native American shifter rubbed her cheek against my thigh in a move that was almost romantic before she bit down and hard. I snarled and dug my fingers into the skin of her upper arms. "Leah.."

She lifted her head to give me a curious look. "Yes Jasper? Is there something you wanted to ask? Is there anything I can do for you?"

Her sugary sweet false innocence made my body shiver with annoyance and want. Usually I could hold back but it had _weeks _since my last time with Leah and I needed it. "Leah please."

Her eyes sparkled at her small victory and I vowed to not to let her win so easily this next round. My eyes fell shut as she went back to work and I could feel tension flowing out of my body while at the same time a sudden rush of adreneline entered my body. As the shifter began to move her head up and down my eyes snapped open and I flipped us over again.

"You may have won the first round but I will win the next one." My black eyes held nothing but promise and I knew I would not fail. My mission was to make Leah scream my name. I'd have her screaming so loud that the walls of the hotel room would shake.

TBC...

**AN: So I have the next few chapters mapped out. The lemon is going to be a few more chapters atleast. Jasper lost the begging round but I wonder if he can make Leah scream? LOL I hope you all like this chapter. I like writing a darker Jasper. I hope you like darker Jasper and Leah as well. Let me know what you thought.**

**Please R&R like always! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

After I had managed to flip us around so the she-wolf lay underneath me, I pulled her thighs apart. One hand held her small wrists above her head while the other hand snaked down between her legs. While Leah liked to use demanding personality to get what she wants I often went with a slow burn. Give her tastes of what she could have.

"I saw Sam this week." The statement came from me and Leah tried to look away but I wouldn't let her. I held her gaze with mine. She had brought up my weakness earlier so now I would use her against her. Play her own game and turn it around to see how she liked it. "His emotions were europhic. Ive never felt such joy in my entire life. Not even when he thinks of his past or of _you._"

I had to tighten my hold on her arms slightly when I felt her struggle to free them. She planned to slap me no doubt. Her anger hit me head on and it is exactly what I wanted. Leah Clearwater was ruled by her emotions. My ability is to manipulate emotions and how one feels. I could've gotten what I wanted the easy way but where is the fun in that? I liked working for what I wanted and what I wanted in this moment was to break Leah 'I'm a cruel bitch' Clearwater.

Running my fingers from my free hand over the inside of her thigh I kept the touches soft and teasing. My words on the other hand had turned cruel and mocking. Stinging with the truth she did not want to know. A truth she tried to run from but would never be free of. "They came to see Bella and to tell the family the good news. The news we have all been expecting since they got married. The news you will never be able to give anyone."

"Shut up you fucker." She hissed keeping her tone low so as not to be mistaken for screaming. My wolf girl really hated to loose a game.

I kept speaking and acted as if I had not heard her. Something she should be used to by now. "We've seen the changes in her body for weeks now. The small amount of weight gain as her body readied itself for the child resting in her womb. The way her skin seemed to glow with the emotions radiating from child.

Sam seemed to be on cloud nine as most would put it. Nothing could have brought him down in those few moments. He was happy and surrounded by the only woman he truly ever loved. The woman fate picked out for him. When he touched her stomach and told us how he couldn't be happy I thought I would burst from his joy. It really was a happy moment Leah. To bad you couldn't be there. I am sure Sam and Emily would've wanted to share in there happiness with you."

A tear leaked from the corner of her eye and for a moment I felt the intense need to appologize but I quickly forced it back. We had agreed a long time ago that we never said we were sorry for anything that was said or done. Besides that I really wasn't sorry. I felt badly for hurting her feelings but it is what we did. We hurt eachother and then made it up the only way we knew how.

Slipping one finger inside of her wet folds I pressed kisses to her abdomen. My fangs running over her dark skin and causing small bits of blood to appear from holes which were hardly visible. I pushed another finger into her and curled them. Just as quickly as I started I pulled out of her. Leah whimpered and I released her hands.

When she did not attack me I tilted my head in confusion. I watched Leah curl her legs up and wrap her arms around her knees. I did not understand. Usually I would piss her off and this would be the part where she lunged at me. Instead of our usual routine something had gone wrong. Tears, more than I had ever seen poured down her face. Rivers of grief leaking to the floor.

"Leah?" Had she finally snapped? Did I unknowingly put to much pressure on her and hurt her physical to the point of serious harm? Yet her tears did not seem to be a physical pain. It could not have been my comments about Sam considering I'd said far worse in the past.

Then I noticed her lips moving and heard her speaking so very low. So low that I almost missed it. When I finally figured it out I truly did wish I had missed it. "They didn't tell me. He's been avoiding me and I didn't know. Did everyone know? They trust leeches more than me."

Damnit! I hadn't known Leah did not know of Emily and her pregnancy. I only assumed she would have been one of the first ones to know. I may be a heartless monster but this is not the way she should have found out. I wanted to piss her off not shatter her fragile hold on sanity. To cause pain had been part of my goal but the pain I intended to inflict had been no where near this magnitude.

I would have to make it up to her. But how could I go about doing so? One way immediately sprung to mind but I was reluctant to go said route. I cringed at the idea in my mind. You see, one thing about Leah is she loves control. I suppose I can understand why considering all control has been taken from her life since she phased. She never could control the outcome of a situation.

To give Leah complete control over todays events would clear the air between us for sure. Still, I never felt comfortable letting someone else make desicions for me. Other than Alice since she could see the outcome of her desicions. Also I trusted Alice with my life. I didn't trust Leah with the life of my enemy.

Just as I was about to try and appologize her aching pain hit me and the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Leah I think today we should do things a bit differently. I think that you should have all control."

I could feel my expression twist into one of discust and unhappiness. I did not want to do this but it seemed the only way to make up for my stupidity. The she-wolf seemed to catch on to my train of thought. "I don't need your fucking pity."

Taking in a breath I no longer needed I tried my best to force a smile on my face. "This is not pity Leah. I-I" I paused while struggling to get the words out. "_want _to do this. I want to give you _comple control._" I nearly choked on the words instantly regretting them with the way her eyes lit up. This would not end well for me.

TBC...

**AN: Originally I had intended to go a different way with this chapter. Then while I was writing it just came to be this way. While this is a darker story I wanted to show that Jasper isn't **_**all**_** bad. Just as I wanted to show that Leah does **_**feel **_**pain and sadness. I thought this would be the best way to do that. Don't worry though it hasn't gone gushy. Just a moment of less violence. Leah will take this to her advantage trust me.**

**I hope you liked this chapter! Let me know what you thought! Please R&R like always!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

Why did I have to care about the she-wolf and her feelings now of all times? I knew I should not of let her have control. No matter how terrible I felt about spilling the news of Emily and her pregnancy, I should have given more thought to the situation before I opened my mouth. To give Leah Clearwater complete control? That was almost like signing my own death certificate and I was already technically dead.

Yet there is no way I could take it back now. Not with the way her eyes had come to life at the very idea. Not now that she had me laying on the bed completely nude as she used her sharp nails to carve designs in to my skin. They healed moments after, but apparently that only brought out the creative side of Leah Clearwater even more. Not to mention how arroused I had become by watching her lick my vemon laced blood from her fingers.

"Should I carve what you are in to your flesh next?" She asked with a wicked smirk and sank her nails down deep and in to the skin of my abdomen.

The sharp nail of her ring finger, ironically the one that used to wear her engagement ring from Sam Uley, began cutting a small line down the center of my body. I watched as she cut the word killer underneath my belly button. My eyes never left her face as she leaned down to lick away every last drop of blood which pooled out from my skin.

"I wonder if the tangy taste to your blood is left over from your victims? No way could dead blood taste so damn wonderful." Her evil grin reminded of frightening part being that Leah terrified me more than Maria. When she got angry you knew someone was going to be hurt no matter what you did to try and prevent it. "No wonder you leeches like blood so much. It seems to give you some sick power of the person you are trying to dominate."

"Better a killer than what you are." I let the words roll off of my tongue with sick satisfaction. While I felt bad for hurting her earlier this was a different kind of pain. When I was cruel to her at least I knew it did not affect her as much as Sam and Emily's betrayal. My cruelty only turned her on as hers did to me. "There are no words to describe what you are Leah Clearwater."

The she-wolf dug her nails deep in to the skin of my chest and I actually cried out in pain. Usually I am pretty good at holding in the screams, but for some reason the pain was more intense than usual. I felt her start to carve something else on my shoulder and try as I may, I was unable to get a good view of it. I could only guess that she was branding with me words which could be used to describe her.

"There are alot of words one could use to describe me. I've been called so many things I could write a book." She paused to lean down and lick the blood away. "Whore, harpy, freak, bitch, she-bitch, monster, heartless, and so many more. My pack really let me down with their lack of creativity. I could pull better insults from my ass crack if I so desired."

I moved one of my hands to her bare back and dug my fingers in to her flesh before ripping downwards. I could feel chunks of her skin come with me. "You talk to much. When I offered to give you control I thought there would be lots less conversation. I don't spend my weekends with you to talk about the weather darlin."

Her dark eyes blazed with a fire I had never seen before. "I've told you not to call me that! I'm not your sweet little Alice."

"Trust me I know that." I responded and flipped us so she was one the one on her back now. "I think you have had your fun my little artist in training. Maybe I should take back my offer to let you have control. You don't seem to upset about that fact that Sam doesn't even care about you enough to tell you the truth face to face."

Teeth sank in to my collarbone and I growled which was echoed by a growl of her own. When her teeth pulled out of my flesh I could feel my skin start to stitch back together. "You don't know anything about Sam you scarred emo leech who tries to play human."

Taking her hand I placed it above my heart. "Oh baby that hurt right here. Come on _darlin _can't you do better than that?"

"You have to have a heart for it hurt." Leah sneered and ran her tongue where my pulse should be beating and yet it remained silent.

"That goes the same for saying you have a broken heart." I told her wrapped her legs around my waist. Drops of blood from my chest had splatter on hers. For the first time in a very long time I seemed to be the victim. What a strange switching of positions. "How can you claim to have one if it doesn't exist."

My Quilette lover fisted her hand in my hair and pressed my ear down against her chest so I could feel the thumping of her heart. It always thumped a tad faster than a humans. I suppose it had to be a shifter trait. "I have a heart since you can hear it beating. You on the other hand are dead silent. No pun on the dead part. People just don't want to remember what I was before."

"Before what?" I asked and slid my hands between our bodies. I needed to get back to the task at hand. Alice and I had plans tomorrow so I could not spend the whole weekend here this time.

"Before I-" Leah paused when you are my sunshine starting ringing from my discarded jeans pocket. "And the irony just keeps coming. Go on an answer since I know you can't stand to not hear your _darlin _midgets voice. Just get off of me if your going to talk for more than ten seconds. I don't want to be infected with your lovey dovey undead mush you feed each other."

"Again darlin, you have to have a heart for that to happen. An echo of one does not count." I smirked at her as I lifted myself off of her with one arm and reached for my phone with the other. I quickly popped it open to answer. "Alice are you alright?"

My first fear was something had happened. She usually never called me when I was...otherwise occupied with the grumpy she-wolf. She only ever called after a vision told her our activities were finished with. I think she worried about interrupting or being seen as rude. My little pixie really was a strange creature sometimes. I loved her regardless though. She was my savior and my light.

"Jazz I'm sorry I bothered you while you were buisy." My wife's lovely voice calmed me down immediately. I could not surpress the smile I felt creeping up on to my features. "Nahuel came to see Nessie this weekend and I am taking them to Seattle. I have to break our plans tomorrow. I wanted you to know that I don't mind if you stay with you know who for the whole weekend. I love you Jasper and I think this good for you."

"You know who? Really? What am I Voldermort?" Leah muttered as she started to wiggle restlessly. I held up my hand as a way to tell her to shut the hell up when I was on the phone with my wife.

"I love you to Alice. Have fun with Nahuel and Ness. I'll call you tomorrow evening." I told my perfect pixie wife before she hung up.

I looked down only to realize Leah had slithered out from under me. Already she was dressed and heading for the door. In half a second I was up and hand her front pinned to the door. My naked body pressed against her fully clothed back. I began to run my teeth along the shell o her ear. "Where do you think your going?"

TBC...

**AN: I know I have not updated this forever! I am so sorry about that! I hope you are still reading and that you like the update. I know no sex yet, but in the next chapter I promise lol. I just wanted to get this out and I needed to show that Leah and Jasper hate each other and yet they oddly seem to be able to get along at times. Also I needed Alice to cancel on her plans. Let me know what you thought.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

Since my body was pressed against her back and keeping her from fleeing Leah turned her head the best she could so that she would be able to answer my question as to where she was going. "I thought the answer would be pretty fucking obvious. I am going anywhere which isn't here. You're little wife calling kind of ruined the mood. I hope you and your hand have a good time together tonight because I am out of here."

Her threat did not impress me at all. I pressed my body harder against hers and placed my lips at her neck. "Where are you going to go darling? You have nobody who wants your company and you too much of a coward to be by yourself. That is why you seek me out isn't it Leah?"

The she-wolf pushed back against me as she tried to knock me off of her, thought it did not work since I am much stronger than she is no matter what form she takes. "I seek you because you are just as fucked up as I am and I want to ruin your life like you leeches ruined mine. You think I fuck you because I like you? I do it because you are going to become dependent on me and when that happens I will cut you off and you will have to suffer. You will have to go back to being the exact way you were before I came along. You will have to go back to your boring little wife, boring family, as you try to live among the humans. I will be there in the back of your mind and you will never be rid of me."

A ripping sound filled the air as I tore her top from her body. The remaining fabric fell to the floor as I ran my teeth over her shoulder blade. "You'll never be able to let me go Leah because as much as you deny it you are addicted to me as I am to you. I give you something that nobody else can. We are both fucked up, but I at least I accept what I am. You are too busy blaming everyone else around you and never taking any of the blame on your own shoulders."

I turned her around and bent my knees so that I could suck one of her nipples in to my mouth as she answered me. I kept my eyes on her face. "What blame should I take? I am not the reason I turned in to a bitch. That lies on your family for activating the gene. If it weren't for you all I would be happy with Sam. We would be married by now living the life that we should have had. It's your fault that I turned in to this beast. It is on you that I cannot have children. My father would still be here if you did not exist."

I removed my mouth from her breast and swept my arms under her legs as I carried her to the bed the hotel room offered. "Your father would have died eventually because humans cannot live forever. Obviously Sam was meant for Emily or he would have imprinted on you. We did him a favor helping him find his soul mate. You had the wolf gene in you and if we did not trigger it then the nomads would have. It is not proven you are unable to have children. Carlisle thinks that if you stop phasing you will go back to being a women in that aspect. You really need to come up with better arguments."

She scowled at me and bit down hard on my hand when I covered her mouth after having laid her down on the bed. I did not have to worry about undressing since I was naked. I used the hand not covering her mouth to tear off her jeans and panties. When she bit me again I could feel her cracking my diamond hard skin and so I pulled my hand away to cover her mouth with mine. I bit and nipped at her tongue until I could taste her blood. It was spicy and had a different flavor than human blood. I think the shifter blood made it taste like a pleasant mix of animal and human. It was quite addicting, though I would never tell her this out loud or she would stop letting me bite her.

"Fuck you!" She spat and I could feel droplets of her blood hit me in the face.

One landed on my bottom and I licked it away. "Since you asked so nicely I do not see me as having another choice. Accept I am going to change your request a bit and fuck you because fucking myself seems as if it would be less enjoyable for the both of us."

I did not give her the chance of saying anything back. I flexed my hip and suddenly was inside of her. She cried out because according to her she was never prepared for the icy cold as I made my way in to her unnatural warmth. I hissed and dug my nails in to her hipbones. I did not wait for her to adjust to the feeling and instead pounded in to her at a speed which would kill a human. One of her hands came up to grab my ear as she jerked my head to the side. She did not like it when I looked at her. I believe Leah liked to pretend I was somebody else. It was one of the many games we played together.

"You will look at me." I growled and removed one of my hands from her hips in order to grasp her jaw and force her to meet my eye. When she closed her eyes I squeezed two fingers together until I could hear her jaw pop as it threatened to crack. Her eyes opened quickly and I loosened my grip. "I am not Sam Uley and you will not try to pretend that I am. Look at me as I fuck you. Remember that I am the only one who will."

Hate hit me full force in the chest and I relished the feeling. She thought hate would bother me. She was young and naïve. I pictured Alice in my mind and threw a way of love her way. I did not love the wolf, but making her feel as if I did would be torture of the worst kind. A sadistic smile came to rest on my lips as I sent wave after wave her way while pounding in to her.

"Stop!" She was screaming the word now. The love was too much for her to take. Hate, lust, and revenge she understood, but after what had happened with Sam love had become the emotion which made no sense to her anymore. It confused her and scared her at the same time. "You win! Just stop it right now."

I only intensified the feeling and kissed her throat. She reached out to grab one of my arms and pulled with all her strength. I could feel my arm detach from shoulder as she tossed it across the room and it hit the wall. I ignored the limb for the moment and thrust in to her one last time as she screamed out in pleasure and anger mixed together. She was panting as I spurted my dead seed in to her. I kissed her once before pulling out of her and going to retrieve my arm. I knew she hadn't cum, but that was all a part of the game. I had won and so in the next game she would have to convince me as to why I should give her what she wanted when I obviously got what I wanted.

I turned to look at her as I felt the muscle and bone stitching together. I licked two of my fingers and rubbed the saliva over the attaching flesh. It would help to seal the wound and make the scar less noticeable. "Now it is your turn to convince me as to why I should give you what you want."

TBC…

**AN: A short chapter, but someone requested I update and so I did. I plan to update more often. I had actually forgotten about this story since I have so many lol. I would love to hear your ideas on what Leah should do to win the next game. Remember that she has to convince him as to why he should stay to give her what she wants. As stated before they play a dangerous game with each other. I do hope you liked this chapter.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

As it turns out Leah never got the chance to beg for what she wanted me to do to her. Her brother called saying that her mother wanted her to come home for dinner. Apparently it was a special dinner where both Sam and Emily would be there. The she-wolf had dressed without a word before leaving. I had gone straight home thinking maybe I should go and look for my wife, but then I got a text from the female shifter telling me that she needed to see me. I knew right away the dinner must have gone horribly and now she wanted to take her frustration out on me not that I minded.

I found her waiting for me in the woods just past the La Push treaty line. She was wearing a black cocktail dress and tapping her foot impatiently. When she heard me approaching her head snapped up and I saw a variety of emotions in her eyes. "It took you fucking long enough to get here."

I shrugged and made my way over to her. I grabbed her hips and pulled her against me. "If you called me here to yell at me for how slow I was then tell me now so I can get back to what I was doing before you interrupted."

Leah narrowed her eyes and grabbed a fistful of my hair as she jerked my head to the side. I could feel the muscles in my neck strain due to the odd position in which she held my head. "I _hate _you."

"I hate you as well." I replied digging my fingers in to her hipbones.

"But I hate _him _more." She muttered before crashing her lips down on to mine. By him I knew she was referring to her ex-boyfriend. She pulled away from the kiss to catch her breath. Her grip on my hair loosened as she cupped the back of my neck with both hands. "I just wanted to make that clear."

"You made it crystal clear." I assured her while at the same time cupping her ass in my hands and lifting her up so that she would be able to wrap her legs around my waist. "Since we are being truthful here I wanted to tell you I am sorry about what I said back at the hotel. I had no idea you didn't know Emily was pregnant. You should not have found out that way."

"No more talking." She ordered before placing kisses up and down my throat.

I backed us up so her back was pressed against the trunk of a large tree. It was easy to hold her up with one as I used the other to push her dress up. She was wearing black stockings, but I did not bother removing them since I liked them. I had a thing for Leah in lace. I hooked my fingers in her thong and slid them down her legs letting them drop to the forest floor. I had one goal in mind and nothing was going to stop me from reaching it.

The girly shifter groaned as I pressed my erection against her core. Her fingers left my hair to unbutton my jeans before they dropped down around my ankles. I wasn't wearing boxers or anything so that was something we did not have to worry about. I paused took at her face. "How partial are you to this dress?"

Leah gave me a look stating she knew what I was thinking. "My mother bought it for me so I can answer your unasked question by telling you that you can destroy it if you want."

I smirked and used my right hand to rip the dress down the middle leaving her in only her stockings and bra. She really was a beautiful woman and I couldn't deny this fact even if I wanted to. "I feel the same way about my shirt in case you were wondering. It is one Esme picked out."

I felt the fabric of my shirt tear before it too joined the heap of clothing on the ground. She smirked and leaned in to trace my collarbone with her tongue. "I was not planning to ask you for permission."

I rolled my eyes because that would be something Leah Clearwater would say. She always had to make it clear that she did not take orders from other people and do whatever the hell she wanted no matter what other people said. Instead of replying I gripped her thighs before pushing in to her. Her heat burned and buried my face in the crook of her neck. I nipped and sucked at the skin of her throat before moving up her jaw until I reached her lips. I kissed her with everything I had and she kissed me back.

I didn't have to worry about holding back with the Quilette she-wolf because she liked everything I did to her. Leah had a liking for all the pain I could give her. It made since considering she had been through so much pain in such a short amount of time. It's not surprising that she had become addicted to it. In some ways I was her drug and she was mine.

I took her hard and fast against the tree because I knew this is what she needed. It is not as if I would ever be tender with her because that meant I had to care about her and we both knew that was not true. I hated Leah plain and simple. I hated the way she spoke, the way she dressed, I hated her judgmental personality, and most of all I just hated everything about her. The fact she was my sworn enemy did not help to make me like her.

We both came rather quickly and I did not even have to help her along to reach her peak. When we were done I pulled away and started getting dressed as did she. "Are you going to tell me what happened at dinner to make you lower yourself to calling me? Usually I am the one who has to call you."

She shook her head as she tried in vain to get the remains of the dress to cover her body. "You and I don't talk remember? We fuck and we fight, but we never talk. I'll see you in a few days Emo leech."

TBC…

**AN: Hey I know this was a short chapter, but I wanted to post something. I thought it would be good to like have it so she called him. Anyways, let me know if you liked this or not and let me know what you would like to see next. Would you like to see Alice and Jasper talk or maybe Alice and Leah. I had the idea that Alice is concerned because Jasper has been acting weird for days since Leah did not call him and she wants Leah to contact him and get him back to normal. What do you all think of that?**

**Please R&R like always!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do now own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

Two weeks had passed and in that time I had not received one phone call or visit from the she-wolf. If I tried to contact her by calling, but each time I tried it seemed I would get redirected straight to her voicemail. I had left her dozens of messages and I started to text her each hour in the hopes she would either get so angry she had no choice other than to contact me in order to bitch me out or she would get the hint that I needed to see her. We had never gone this long without seeing each other and I knew it was starting to affect my life at home. I was more moody and snapped at anyone who dared try to speak with me about anything. Even my wife couldn't cheer me up like she had been able to do in the past.

Was Leah trying to make me suffer for what had happened back at the hotel when I wounded her pride by telling her the truth about her cousin being pregnant? Did she think that by ignoring me I would seek her out and beg forgiveness for telling her the truth? If she thought I would _ever _seek her out then she had another thing coming. I had lived a very long time and I could be patient when I had to be. I had always been the one who had to breakdown first and go to her, but this time would be different. I would make her come to me for _once. _I wouldn't be her puppet and I certainly would not allow her to pull my strings. If she wanted to see then she would have to make the first move. Let's see if she liked being the one who had to chase instead of being the chased.

I clenched my jaw in annoyance as I sat still as a statue in the living room with my other siblings. Alice and Rosalie were talking about a shopping trip they wanted to take the following weekend and Emmett was playing a video game with Renesmee and Jacob. Edward and Bella of course were being their usual happily in love selves. I found their confessions of everlasting love starting to grate on my nerves. We all knew they were in love and we did not need to hear it on a daily basis. I took a deep breath as I tried to gain control over my emotions, but it was not working.

Finally I stood up quickly and before I even realized what I had been doing I had my mind reading brother pinned to the wall. My voice was a low hiss and filled with a hidden threat or a promise depending on how you wanted to look at it. "If I have to feel your desire for your wife for one more second I will permanently scar you. Is not enough that we had to deal with your love for a human? You got what you wanted in the end and I would appreciate it if you considered there are other people in the room who can _feel _everything you feel."

"Jasper!" Alice cried as she jumped to her feet and covered her mouth with one hand to show her shock for a moment. After lowering her hand she took a hesitant step in my direction. "What is wrong with you? You have never had a problem with anything they have felt before. How about you and I go for a walk? I think it would probably help you calm down some."

I snapped my head around to look at my pixie sized wife. I could tell she was concerned over my behavior, but I was _extremely _angry and I had no idea _why _I felt this way all of a sudden. When she reached out to set her hand on my arm I jerked away from her touch. I wasn't some child who needed to be looked after twenty four seven. I was a_llowed _to have an off day once in a while. Her expression fell and usually I would feel regret for having hurt her feelings, but right now I was pissed off for no reason I could explain.

"You don't have to treat me like a toddler Alice." I snapped and ran my hands in my hair. I closed my eyes for a second and to my horror I saw Leah's face behind my closed lids. She was haunting me and it was worse now that I had no way of contacting her. Realizing this, my anger only seemed to multiply tenfold as I took my frustration out my wife. "Just because I do not wish to feel everything they feel each other does not automatically mean something is wrong. You may enjoy watching their fairytale play out, but I have no desire to do it along with you. If you hear them say 'I love you or I would die for you' once then that is enough for one everlasting lifetime."

She again tried to place her hand on my arm and this time I let her. I had let go of Edward who quickly moved to the other side of the room with Bella in case I snapped again. "You don't know what you are saying Jazz. I think you need to hunt. You haven't gone hunting in almost two weeks and that is what is making you act this way. How about we go out together and find a nice herd of deer to snack on? I am positive that will make you feel better."

There she went again acting as if I were a child who needed to be placated. I couldn't take it anymore. I knew that if I stayed here any longer I would end up saying something I would regret later on. I tried to reign in my anger as I answered her. "I think I will go hunting, but I want to go alone. I need time to myself where I am not constantly bombarded with emotions from those around me. I can barely sort out my feelings while dealing with everyone else's as well. I will be back later this evening and I apologize for snapping at you Alice and to you Edward for losing my temper. Feel free to admit your love for Bella all you want."

I did not bother sticking around to hear what they had to say. I needed to get out of this house and kill something. Perhaps that would make me feel better. I did not really have any other options. I needed to do something to get rid of these urges and since my usual method was unreachable at the moment I would have to make do with what I had. I would show Leah Clearwater that she had been wrong. I would show her that I _didn't _need anything she had to offer. I would make her realized that the reality of the situation was she needed me.

TBC…

**AN: Another short chapter I know, but I think it came out alright. It shows how jasper is being affected the longer he goes without seeing Leah. Don't worry though because in the next chapter Alice is going to see Alice and well I know you will all be surprised and maybe shocked about what she has to say. Let me know what you all thought of this chapter. I do hope that you all liked it.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

I couldn't believe I was here of all places. I understood the symptoms of being denied something you have become addicted to and I also know that what I am feeling is affects from not being around the female shifter, but to risk my own life by being here on shifter land just so I could get a glimpse of her? I was beginning to boarder on stalker behavior right there. If she did not want to see me then I should accept that and move on. There was no use hanging around her home especially since I could sense she was not home. There was one heartbeat from coming from the inside of the house and it belonged to Sue Clearwater. I had followed a couple of wolves who were on patrol making sure to stay far enough away they did not sense me tracking them and Seth had been among them though Leah had done.

I had told myself countless times that I should go back to the house and apologize to Alice. I knew that I had been wrong by taking my frustration out on her. Alice had always been there for since the day we met and I should appreciate her more. I knew this and yet I did not move from my spot. I just wanted to see her. I _needed _to see her even if only for a few minutes. I was convinced this was some sort of game Leah was playing with me. She wanted to prove that fact that I was dependent on her and that I needed her. That must be why she was avoiding me and trying to get me to crack. If only I could set my eyes on her for a few moments I would be set. I would know I had nothing to worry about and I could go home to my wife where I belonged.

Being an empath you would think that I would understand better than anyone else why obsession was dangerous. I had met almost every single type of person there was on this earth and I knew how dangerous certain types of people could be. I had met rapists, murderers, and every kind of psychopath you could possibly imagine. I have seen sick and twisted relationships and I know that what Leah and I have could rival some of those relationships. We would never be normal or safe no matter what the circumstances may be. I held no love for her as she felt the same about me. I knew this since I had the ability to feel everything she felt. What we had was addiction and obsession both dangerous and twisted, but neither of really wanted to fight it. We fought and we fucked and we hurt the other because we were always hurting for one reason or another. It is just the way the she-wolf and I would always be. There was no changing what was.

I heard a motorcycle in the distance and backed up further in to the shadows. I could smell Leah and a human male. My brow crinkled in confusion as I watched Leah hop off the back of bike and lean in to kiss a human male someone I did not recognize, on the cheek as he got off the bike. "I had a great time tonight Aaron. I haven't been out in a while."

"Well I hope we can do it again." The black haired blue eyed human male replied before wrapping his arms around her waist. I scoffed at the James Dean wannabe.

What would she ever see in him? He was human and she obviously was not. This _boy _would never be able to give her what she needed. Did Leah really think that he would be able to handle the animal in her? She was raw and passionate and the first time that human male tried to make soft sweet love to her she would bolt. My shifter did not need romance in her life even though she would argue with my assessment. What Leah needed was someone who could handle her and all her emotional crap. No human would ever be able to do so. The sooner she saw that the better off she would be and wait why did I even care? If the Quilette female wanted to fuck up her life then that was her own problem.

I will admit that I was feeling slightly jealous, but it is not because I care about her. I was just having a moment of neediness. What I needed only Leah could give me and seeing her with that human only reminded me of how I could lose that if she ever found someone she wanted a relationship with. Obviously she needed to remember what I could give her. It had been over a week and she just did not remember. If I could get her alone then I would make her remember. I would show her that she needed me because to be honest I will admit that at times I do need her, but not for anything else than something physical to take more darker physical urges out on.

I watched as Leah actually blushed like a woman who had feelings when I knew better and told the guy whose name I did not care to learn said he would call her tomorrow. I could have confronted her then, but I decided to wait. I would wait until everyone in her house was asleep and then I would sneak in to her room. She would be able to hear me coming and I would not technically be breaking and entering so I wouldn't have to worry about that. Still, it would be better to wait until her family members were sleeping and then confront her. I would demand to know why she had been avoiding me. I would show her that her plan of making me need her was not going to work before turning on her. Yes, that is what I would do.

TBC…

**AN: Just a short chapter since I am feeling like crap. I wanted to show Jasper sort of losing it not getting to see Leah on a day to day basis. Do you all agree that he is denial? Anyways, as usual I would love to hear your thoughts. Let me know if you all liked this or not and I am sorry if this is not my best work.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

I waited a good forty minutes before I easily jumped up on to the window sill of Leah's room. She always left her window open in case she had this urge to phase. It was a good thing for me since I would not have to break the glass to get to her. I sat there perched on the balls of my feet as I watched her standing in front of her mirror. She had stripped down to her bra and underwear and I knew she could see my reflection in the mirror yet she chose to ignore me for the time being. Instead of making her pay attention to me I simply watched her. I watched as she twisted and turn in order to get a better view of her body. It was obvious she was criticizing her body in her head.

After a few more minutes she addressed me though she did not bother to glance my way. Leah made sure to keep her voice to a whisper since she did not want to risk waking up her brother or mother. "Look it is my personal stalker. Don't think I didn't know you were there in the bushes watching me like the sick pervert you are. You know I could have you killed for even being here."

"You won't do it darlin'." I replied casually as I dropped down from my position on her window sill. I stalked closer to her and set one of my pale hands on her stomach once I was standing behind her. "If you were going to kill me you would have tried to do so after your new boy toy left and here I am. We both know you won't kill me because you need me."

The russet skinned she-wolf rolled her eyes though I noticed she did not slap my hand away. "Says the guy who crept in to my window so that he could what, watch me sleep? I realize that everything I do is amazing, but to watch me sleep, really? I knew your wifey wasn't giving you what you needed, but this is downright annoying."

I pressed my cold lips to her pulse point as my fingers started to trace undefinable patterns on her skin. "I don't hear you complaining or asking me to leave darlin'."

"That's because this is my house and I _don't _have to _ask _you for anything." Before I could react she spun around and shoved me by my shoulders backwards so hard that I nearly tripped, but thanks to my superb reflexes I was able to catch myself. "Now get out before I scream and wake up Seth who even though he has a weird fondness for leeches will kick your ass out for being a creepy bastard."

"You don't really want me to go." I told her in a smooth self-assured tone. I came to stand right in front of her though this time I did not touch her.

Leah clucked her tongue and crossed her arms over her chest. "Actually I do want you to go. When are you going to take the hint that I don't want or need you? All I want is to sleep before I have to patrol in a few hours. Go home to your _wife _and get your rocks off with her if she can get a rise out of you that is. Since I am a nice person, you have my permission to picture me in your head while you are fucking her. We both know it is the only way you will be able to get off anyways."

A growl began to bubble up from the very bottom of my chest. She wanted to play then we would play. If she could bring up Alice I would hit her where it would hurt her the most. "Well I suppose I should offer the same courtesy when it comes to your new flavor of the week. I hope you appreciate it while it lasts. We both know that as soon as he sees the real you it is going to be over. Did you really think he could ever love you? I know you like to live in the land of denial, but this a whole new field darlin'. Even if he can deal with the fact you will never give him children do you honestly believe being a freak of nature won't scare him off? Live this farce of a fairytale as long as you can get away with it. Oh and may I suggest not introducing him to any of your cousins before he puts a ring on your finger. We both know how that will turn out."

Her fist shot to connect with the corner of my jaw. I could see her shaking as she pulled back her fist getting ready to attack again. "Like you are one to talk! You stand there acting as if you didn't follow me to my house so that you could stalk me. You act as though I am the one who is married and chasing after someone way out of my league. How fucked up is that you, a married man, needed to come to me? You pretend to love your little wife, but take a look around you scared freak! Do you see your little midget here? Is she hiding in my closet? If not then I think you need to come back to reality and realize you are the one who needs _me._"

"I don't need you!" I snarled grabbing her shoulders getting ready to shake her. "Unlike you I have someone who loves me."

"Yet here you are." Leah bit back and we growled at each other before our lips connected.

I could say that I hadn't come here hoping for this, but then I would be lying. I had known this would happen the moment I set foot on La Push land and damn it I had wanted it. I wanted her because I craved her. She was my addiction and she may fight it, but I was hers. We would never have love, but we had this and for now it worked. I did not want to think of a time when we would have to figure out another way to deal with our problems. That time would come eventually, yet for the time being this was enough and I would hang on to it as long as I could.

TBC…

**AN: I know this chapter is short as well, but it is half because I wanted the other half to be a different chapter. I have work I need to do and so I wanted to post this while I had time. Let me know what you thought since you know that I love hearing your theories and such.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

I could not believe this shit. She had actually kicked me out. Me! We were kissing and biting and getting ready to have what would've no doubt been amazing hate sex and she pushes towards the window and the next thing I know I am on the ground looking at the she-wolf as she slams the window closed after flipping me off and telling me fuck off and go home where I could either wank off or screw my wife. I had been too stunned to move for ten whole minutes. I don't think anyone had done something like that to me before.

So here I am pacing the forest floor because I am too angry to go home and face the questions from my family, especially my wife and mind reading brother. Alice would no doubt want to know where I had been since I know her well enough to know she had been watching me in her visions and Edward would know everything that happened as soon as I walked through the door. I was not quite ready to go home yet and answer their questions when I couldn't even answer them for myself. I had a lot of thinking to do. I needed to figure out what exactly it was that I felt for the girl wolf.

I knew that part of me hated her. We would never be friends that much was for sure. I hated almost everything about her. I hated how judgmental she was. I hated what she was. I hated the way she could look at me and make me feel as if I were the monster I had once been in my past and most of all I hated the way she spoke to me like I was beneath her.

"_You are a fucking murdered trying to play dress up."_

"_Only a crazy woman like your little wife could ever love you."_

"_I see the __**real **__you scar face and no matter what façade you try to wear you can't hide the sick bastard you from me."_

Her words were like knives in my gut because she was cruel and yet she was absolutely right. I _was _a monster trying to pretend to be human. She was right about Alice being the only person who could ever love and that is because she didn't know the real me. I had to hide it from my wife since I knew if she ever saw the darkest parts of my heart she would run. The worst part was the fact she had been telling the truth about being the only person who knew who the real Jasper was. Edward could read my mind, but even he didn't all know when it came to certain aspects of my past history or personality. Yet for some reason Leah Clearwater could see down in to my very core and that bothered me more than she would ever know.

So of course I hated her and yet part of me craved her. I craved her angry touch, but more than I craved her judgment of me. That is the part I did not understand. Why would I care what this slip of a girl thought about me? She was as fucked up as I if not more so. Whatever she thought about me should not matter and still it did. Maybe it was because she didn't try to placate me by saying I was good man when I wasn't. After living for years with Alice and the rest of my family and having them always tell me what a good man I had become despite my past had become exhausting really. The truth was nice to hear even if it was harsh and crueler than necessary at times.

Then there was the jealousy. Oh yes when I had seen that human male with hands on Leah it had been the closest I had come to killing a human in a _very _long time. I had wanted to drain him dry or to snap his neck before taking Leah up against the side of her childhood home or even on the human's motorcycle. I had wanted nothing more than to claim her as mine and to mark her as my territory. She was mine sort of and even though my mind knew it was complicated the animal inside of me did not care. My darkest side had been so close to coming out and I was really tempted not to try and rein myself in, but the human left taking the decision from me. I suppose that in the end that was good for him since it meant he would continue breathing.

I had all of these feelings and I wasn't sure what it all meant. Things were not as they had been in the beginning and for some reason I knew I had to talk to someone about this, but I wasn't sure who. If I went to Alice she would tell me to do whatever I thought to be the best thing for me. If I went to Edward or Bella they would judge me based on their hatred for Leah. Emmett would tell me to do whatever I had to in order to get laid. Esme would try to give me motherly advice while doing what was best for Alice and Carlisle would basically do the same. Rosalie while not my first choice would probably be the one person I could talk to about this and get an untainted opinion. My blond sister may be mean and vain, but she did care about her family and she was truthful no matter what the situation. If I wanted an honest opinion she would be the best way to go.

With a sigh I pulled out my cellphone and dialed her number. Lucky for me she picked up after the first ring with a snotty 'what do you want Jasper? Are you done having a temper tantrum?' aimed my way as a greeting. I rolled my eyes at her behavior. "Rosalie I need your advice and that means we need to talk. Can you meet me in the woods fifteen miles behind our house?"

TBC…

**AN: So many of you did not want Leah to give in and so I gave you what you wanted. A lot of you also wanted Jasper to figure out what he was feeling and I figured he would need to talk to someone to figure it all out. I thought Rosalie would be the best person to help him with this. Let me know what you thought about this chapter and if you liked it or not.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

To my astonishment Rosalie did not hate me when I told her what had been going on. I explained how Alice knew and had actually pushed me to do this in the first place. I think that is what stopped her from going after Leah and snapping her neck like a human would snap a twig when they stepped on it. She listened intently as I talked about my feelings, the ones I didn't understand. My blond sister scowled at some parts and cringed at others which were mostly the sex parts. It was obvious the thought of me having sex with one of the shape shifters freaked her out and rightly so. If it had been the other way around I can imagine my reaction would've been the same.

I talked for hours and if I were human by this point my voice would have been raw and raspy from overuse, but because I was a vampire I could talk for days and not once would it affect me. When I had finally finished I was quiet for a while waiting for Rosalie to say something. I watched the expression on her face intently not daring to read her emotions for fear of what I may find. To my annoyance and relief she kept her face an emotionless mask never once giving anything away.

After about five minutes of silence she turned her head to look at me and I saw a side of Rosalie one did not see very often. I saw the caring side my sister did her best to keep locked away. "Jasper, do you love her?"

I immediately stiffened when I heard her question. "Of course I love Alice! She is my wife and I-"

"You know that isn't who I meant." Rosalie interrupted raising her eyebrow. "Do you love Leah Clearwater? From what you described to me it is obvious that you care about her, but you never defined exactly how much you care. Do you think it is possible you are feeling this way because you are in love with her? It is not as far-fetched as you may think Jasper. I mean it is obvious you have a connection to her, you are sleeping with her, and you get jealous seeing her with other people. It sounds to me as if you are denying what you feel for her."

"I _can't _love her Rosalie." I insisted running my fingers in my hair. "There are so many reasons why that would be wrong. I am married, she doesn't love me, and she is my sworn enemy are a few good reasons to start off with."

My sister clucked her tongue and rolled her eyes. "Did you notice how in that statement you didn't once say you did not love her? I think you care more about the she-wolf than you are willing to admit to yourself and that is not fair to you, Alice, or Leah. You need to think about what you want because if you do have feelings for Leah then both she and Alice have a right to know. Alice because she is your wife and Leah because she is your, as much as I hate to say this, lover. Leah has a right to decide if she wants to be with your not when she learns that you have feelings for her. It is not fair to keep her trapped when you feel something and she may not feel the same."

"I-"For some strange reason the thought of telling Leah I cared about her killed me because I knew I risked losing her. Leah wasn't one for showing emotion or having someone show it for her after the whole thing with Sam, but maybe my sister was right. Maybe the female shifter had a right to know. I would be worse than her ex if I continued to lie to her about feeling neither when it was obvious I felt something for her no matter how small it may be. "I suppose the next step would be talking to either Alice or Leah, but Rose what if I do this and I lose everything? What if Alice leaves me because feeling emotion for another woman was not part of the deal? Or what if Leah leaves because it is too much for her to take? I'm not sure I am ready to let her go yet."

"That is not your choice to make." She told me harshly and I knew it to be the truth. "I may not particularly like Leah Clearwater, but I feel as if she has been jerked around enough already by emotion and the men in her life. I doubt that you want to become another one of those men. I would suggest talking to Leah first and figuring out how your feelings may change things if they change things at all that is. Then you can talk to Alice and figure out what this means for the two of you. All I can tell you Jasper is that someone is going to get hurt if you continue on this way. I know that Alice says this does not bother her, but you are her husband and it has to sting that you can be one way with the she-wolf, but not with her. It will be better for everyone if you can figure this out sooner rather than later."

I nodded and pushed myself away from the boulder I had been sitting on. "I suppose I should probably talk to Leah now before I lose the will to do so. Wish me luck that I may come home with all of my limbs attached."

Rosalie did not laugh of my joke and instead frowned deeper. "Be careful Jasper, you need to remember that you are not just dealing with a human girl. You are dealing with a shape shifter and if you hurt her physically or emotionally she has a whole pack of me who die to protect her because she is family to them. You need to tread very carefully with her."

TBC…

**AN: So here is the next chapter. I have been up since for this morning so I am exhausted and yet I wanted to post something. I hope that you all like this and I would love to hear your thoughts. Also I started a new story and if you are a fan of Phantom of the Opera you should check it out. It is an Alice/Jasper with hints of Alice/Edward story that has some of the same elements of Phantom of the Opera.**

**Please R&R Like always!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

As I had expected Leah was anything that could be considered the opposite of happy to see me climb back in through her window. She was in bed reading a romance novel if you can believe it when I made my entrance. Seeing her read a romance novel kind of threw me through a loop. I mean never would I have expected the she-wolf to be reading a romance. I always pictured her as more of Stephen King fan because of the blood and gore. I must have been lost in my shock at seeing her read something so girly I did not notice she had thrown the book at my head until it bounced off of my for-head and on to the floor with a soft thud.

"What are _you _here?" Her dark brown eyes narrowed with hatred as she pulled the covers up to her chin. For a brief second I wondered if she was naked under there, but then she shifted and I saw she was wearing a very short nightie made of black lace. Wow could Leah Clearwater be any more of a girl right now? She was completely changing my original opinion of her. "I thought I told you to get out? Are you hard of hearing or do you just not understand the meaning? Let me put in simple terms that even a creeper idiot like you could understand. When I say get out it means go back through the window in which you snuck in and get off of La Push land. It does not mean come back and _stalk _me."

Ignoring her comment I came to stand at the end of her bed. "I need to speak with you."

"Well I have no need to listen to you so I don't see how this benefits me." She bit back and went back to reading her book.

"It's important Leah." I whispered as my left hand reached out to play with the ends of her dark blue cotton comforter. It was strange, but for some unknown reason I was nervous. I suppose it could all be chalked up to the fact I was afraid she may end up tearing my arm off or more precious body parts considering it _is _Leah I am talking about.

Something in my words must have caught her interest because she set her book down in her lap and gazed up at me. An expression of surprise and apprehension crossed over her tanned features. "I think that is the first time you have ever called me by my first name. This must be some talk you want to have if you are not calling me dog, mutt, bitch, or something equally and less creative. Since you actually caught my interest I will give you five minutes to state what you have to say before I kick your ass out of my room."

I sighed and clenched my jaw in irritation. She was not making this any easier for me and it was hard enough saying what I had to say as it were. "

"I am going to need more than five minutes." I replied reaching out to grip the wood of her bed stand. I could feel the wood squeak and threaten to crumble under the pressure of my fingers.

She rolled her eyes and pointed to her Tweety alarm clock that was resting on her bedside table. "Well I don't care what you _need _leech. You had five minutes and now you are down to four. I would hurry if I were you because I am not going to be extending your time limit."

Leave it to Leah Clearwater to make a situation more stressful than it needed to be in the first place. Closing my eyes to gather my courage which again was a first for me, I came to sit at the end of the bed careful not to touch her because she would no doubt flip out since she had made it pretty clear earlier that she didn't want that right now at least. I opted not to look at her either and instead focused on a picture of her standing next to her father and brother. I assumed that her mother had taken the picture. It was strange seeing her look so happy in the picture and yet knowing her in real life having never seen her smile like that. What did it mean that I _wanted _to be the one who made her smile that way? Did it mean anything at all or was I simply putting too much thought in to it?

"I think you may have been right." I told her before looking down at my hands. Why was it so difficult to get the words out? It should be simple should it not?

"I usually am." I could detect cockiness in her tone. "Though this time I am not exactly sure what I was right about. Care to elaborate oh leechy one?"

"I _feel _something for you." I shivered as I said the words because I knew how wrong it was to feel anything other than hatred for Leah Clearwater. "I am not sure exactly what it is I feel for you, but I know it is _something_."

Suddenly without warning of any kind the room seemed to turn to ice. Then it came to me like a bucket of cold water being poured over my head. I could feel _nothing _at all coming off of the female shifter. It was as if she had turned off all of her emotions and when she spoke I couldn't even hear the hatred I knew had to be there. "Well you better get rid of any feelings you have for me. We did not agree to feel _anything _when we started fucking."

I twisted my head around to snarl at her. "It's not something I can just turn off! Don't you think I would if I knew how? Do you honestly believe that I desire to feel _anything _for you?"

"I don't care what you want or what you don't want!" She snapped back pushing herself up and off the bed. "You seem to mistake me for someone who has the ability to care. I am telling you that if you want to live to see the sun rise then you better get rid of any feelings you have for me because if you don't then not only will we never have sex again, but I _will _kill you I swear it."

Standing up I head for the window as rage filled me. "Fine! You weren't that great in bed anyways! I don't know why I bother with you sometimes. I thought that you could act maturely and yet I was wrong. When are you going to grow up and face your problems?"

Leah stood as well and before I knew it she was in front of me and the palm of her right hand made contact with my cheek so hard it actually stung. "Oh that is rich coming from a man who has sex with someone who isn't his wife in order to escape from his past! Have you forgotten that I hate you? Is that getting in touch with my emotions enough for you?"

"Well I hate you too!" I whispered harshly not wanting to wake her family.

"Well do you know how we solve that?" She pointed to the window with one eyebrow raised. "You leave and never come back!"

"Fine then I'm gone." And then I was gone out the window and sprinting in to the woods as fast as I could. I absolutely _despised _Leah fucking Clearwater sometimes.

TBC…

**AN: A short chapter that I thought came out alright. I mean Leah wasn't just going to accept this. Would you all like to see Leah's POV? I could do a chapter that shows her thoughts after he left or do you just want the Jasper/Alice chapter I have planned? Let me know your thoughts and let me know if you all liked this or not.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

Walking home at human speed gave me the time I needed to think. I could not believe how things with Leah had gone down. I mean I had known she wouldn't take the news very well, in fact I had expected nothing less than for her to scream and most likely get physically violent with me, but what I did not expect was for her to totally deny the conversation was happening. The female shifter would not even admit to the fact that she knew I had feelings for her. I said the words and yet she had pretended not to hear me at all almost as if I had not spoken at all. Leah Clearwater would rather live in her land of denial where feelings did not exist.

Now I was not sure if we were over or not. She had said that she never wanted to see me again and I didn't take that as a 'come see me as often as you like we can fuck' kind of never see me again. The sad part is that I wasn't exactly sure how I should be feeling. If things had been the way they were supposed to be then I would be feeling nothing at all because it would mean that she meant absolutely nothing to me, but because we both knew she did mean something to me, whether or not she wanted to accept it, that meant I did not feel anything at all. I cannot be sure what I am feeling, but I do know it was most definitely not something.

I tried to push the female shape shifter out of my head by the time I made it home because I really did not need a lecture from my mind reading brother. Let's face it, Edward can be quite preachy when he wanted to be. As of right now I lacked the patience needed to deal with him. All I wanted to do was to go to my room and lose myself in a book or my journal. Yes, I kept a journal and I had since joining the Cullen clan. It was Esme who actually got me in to the habit telling me it would help me to sort my feelings out when things became too much and she had been right. I never let anyone read my journal not even Alice who I shared almost everything with. Yet when I saw my wife waiting for me on the porch I knew my escape in to my written reality would have to wait. It was pretty damn obvious she wanted to talk and I had a good idea about what the topic would be.

Even though I am not a seer I should have seen this coming because while my pixie of wife may not be able to see what happened with Leah she _did _have the ability to see what happened with Rosalie and I had no doubt in my mind she had seen the talk I shared with my supposed twin. With an unneeded sigh I came to sit down next to her and automatically laced my fingers with hers. It was odd to me that I found different kinds of comfort with both Leah and Alice. With Alice I could be content and happy and share love and with Leah I shared something darker, but none the less just as deep. If only she would accept it and admit to feeling it as well we would all be able to come to some sort of arrangement.

Alice and I sat in silence for a few moments before she turned to look at me. I did the same and I could see a sadness in her eyes that was not usually there and I felt so guilty because I knew it was my fault. "You care about her don't you? Please do not bother denying it because I saw your chat with Rose. I wasn't actually looking for you in a vision since I thought you would be with _her, _but it just came to me in a vision so I guess fate wanted me to see it. I know you went to see her after your talks with Rosalie so I guess is the part where you tell me that you are going leave me am I right?"

My fingers wrapped around her smaller ones tightly as a look I could assume was shock took over my features. Did she honestly believe that I was going to leave her for Leah? I would never leave my Alice. She was my wife and I loved her. She was my soul mate and just because I had some sort of feelings for Leah it did not mean I would up and disappear. "Alice I do not plan on leaving you. You know that you are my world and I never would have gotten involved with Leah in the first place had to not urged me to do so. Just because I _think _I may feel something for her it does not mean that I am going to act on that. The only way I would ever leave you was if you asked me to do so and I can feel that you want me to stay. There is nowhere else that I would rather be right now than with you."

Of course that last bit was lie because if I were honest with myself I wouldn't exactly oppose being with Leah right now trying to figure out where my feelings left us, but she had made the terms of that arrangement impossible. Lucky for me my wife seemed to believe every word that left my mouth as she smiled at me and leaned in to kiss my cheek. "I would never want you to leave Jasper. I only want you to be happy and if you are happy here with me then I am most certainly not going to explain. I do have to know where that leaves us now. Where do we go from here?"

"Well I suppose it depends on where you want us to be." I replied truthfully as I stood up and offered my hand to her. "Personally I feel as if nothing has changed at all. We are back to where we were before the she-wolf came in and complicated things. Whatever I had with Leah is over and done with now and you and I can move on with our lives. You wanted me to be more honest about my feelings and my urges with you and so I am going to try and do that from now on. I love you Alice and we will figure this out together."

TBC…

**AN: Hey you all I wanted to update something even though I have a ton of school work I should be doing and resting, but I wanted to get this up and so I did. I think it came out alright and yes short, but it sets up things for the next chapter which I have to say I am excited about writing. In the next chapter Leah visits because Jacob kind of forces her to since she is his Beta and well do you think that is going to upset the new balance our favorite vampire couple has found? Let me know your thoughts about the next chapter and what you thought of this one since you know I love hearing from you. **

**Please R&R like always!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

Leah Clearwater had been sent by Satan himself to make my life a living hell I was sure of it. Why else would she be in _my _home acting as if _I _did not exist? My day was going fine until _she _showed up with Jacob Black. Jacob being here made sense because he was Bella's best friend and Renesmee's imprint, but what reason did the she-wolf have to be here? Was it possible that she missed me? Perhaps she did care more than she happened to be letting on. It is not as if her Alpha would ever force her to come here against her own will. I knew better than anyone that you could not get the female shifter to do something she did not want to do.

Alice and I had been spending the day together and it had been going great until _she _made her appearance. Now I couldn't seem to focus on the movie we had been watching and my left hand which had been holding my wife's felt as if it were on fire. I actually felt _guilty _for touching my wife which was stupid because she was my wife and I had every right to touch her. I shouldn't feel bad for showing her physical attentions just because my ex-lover had decided to make a house call to _my _house. I had absolutely no reason to feel ashamed about spending time with Alice. If anything Leah should feel horrible about showing up at my place. She had been the other woman after all even if my pixie of a wife had known.

The messed up part was that apparently Leah did not feel anything when it came to seeing Alice and I together. The only time she had looked at us was upon entering and then nothing. She stood in the corner talking with Jacob who was playing with Renesmee. Edward and Bella had gone on a quick hunt together while Jake watched Nessie. Back to my point, Leah wasn't paying us any attention at _all _and I should be thrilled about this because it would not complicate matters and yet the only problem was the fact that I _wasn't _thrilled at all. In fact I was beyond unhappy at this point. Now I felt downright pissed off and my anger was completely directed to the Quilette female. For the first time in a long time I did not understand my own emotions.

My wife on the other hand seemed to be taking this opportunity to show me off even though the female shifter was not paying us attention or if she was she had been doing a damn good job at hiding it. As soon as Leah had made an appearance Alice had moved so that she was sitting in my lap with her fingers weaved in to my hair. A smile graced her lips though it did not reach her eyes and I caught the way she kept glancing at Leah as if she wanted her to know that she had won. It made no sense to me because Alice was the one who had pushed me in the direction of Leah in the first place and now here she was trying to rub it in the girly wolf's face that I was with her.

It felt odd and this is the only word I can come up with to explain how I felt, to have Alice's hands in my hair and her lips against my cheek as she showered my face with kisses. It felt almost _wrong _somehow like I was betraying Leah when in reality it had been Alice I had betrayed even though she had known about it. Still I felt as if somehow I were betraying Leah and the guilt coiled in my stomach like a spring threatening to snap under the pressure. At first I thought that maybe the she-wolf had been _making _me feel this way by projecting her emotions towards me, but when I checked and tried to get a read on what she was feeling I picked up indifference and that made my already whirlwind of emotions even worse than they had been before.

"Jasper," Alice had shifted so that her mouth was right up against the shell my ear. I could feel the lust coming off of her and I knew what she was going to suggest before the words even left her mouth. "How about you and I go upstairs for some privacy?"

She wanted to have sex while Leah was in the house in order to stake her claim on me. Even since my tiny wife realized that I actually had feelings for Leah Clearwater she seemed to become all the more possessive of me. I hated to let her down, but I didn't feel right making love with my wife while my ex whatever Leah was happened to be in my house. It just did not seem like the right thing to do and in this situation I really wanted to do the right thing. I had messed things up so badly lately and desperately wanted to fix it even though that may be impossible I was going to try my damn best, which meant that I would not be having sex with Alice while Leah was in the house. The she-wolf may not care about me in the slightest, but I would still respect her feelings by not rubbing my sex life with my wife in her face.

"Alice I don't think it would be the appropriate for that." I removed her hands from my hair and held them in mine. I watched as her expression crumbled and felt like a dick for hurting her, but deep down I knew that it was the right thing to do. "If you want we can go out hunting or wait until everyone has left, but when I am with you I want to be with you without the risk of anyone hearing. You don't have to sleep with me to ensure that I am going to stay because I am here aren't I?"

She nodded and I am sure she was going to say something, but to my surprise it was Leah who opened her mouth first. My head snapped around in her direction as she spoke. "If the happy little leech couple want to do it then go ahead and do it because nobody here cares what you do or who you do, but I am asking you to take it somewhere else because I am trying to have a conversation and your love sick yapping is doing nothing, but interrupting."

My eyes narrowed as I took in the full meaning of her words. She was basically telling me that she didn't care about me or what I did. With a snarl I stood up and took Alice's hand. If Leah didn't care then I should not care for her feelings either. "Well since nobody here is going to care then I guess Alice and I can do whatever we want. Feel free to _leave _if the noise becomes too much for you to bear."

TBC…

**AN: Just a quick chapter and I do hope that you all liked it. In the next chapter you will have a Jasper and Alice scene and a Jasper and Leah scene. Let me know what you all thought of this chapter since you know that I love hearing your thoughts.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

_Leah's POV-_

I let out a huge sigh of relief when the scarred wonder and his blood drinking Tinkerbelle had left the room. They had no fucking idea how hard it was to pretend they didn't exist when they were practically having sex on the couch. It took every ounce of self-control I had which wasn't much to start with, to keep from leaping over the back of the couch and attack the seer for touching Jasper, Jasper for making me _feel _something, and then I would've had to of killed myself for showing such weakness. A Clearwater did not break under pressure and no matter how badly I wanted to scream at the closest person which currently was Jacob and his half dead imprint, I didn't because that would let Jasper in on how frustrated I was.

Everything had been going fine until he introduced the word _feelings _in to our fucked up and twisted relationship or whatever you wanted to call it. I never even thought about feelings until he came in to my room and started yapping about having them for me. Feelings was not something I wanted to deal with ever again and part of the reason I had started fucking scar head (I needed to stop watching Harry Potter so I could come up with better nicknames) was so that I could escape my feelings for a little while. That is all I wanted and he had to go and screw it all up. Why did he have to say anything at all? Couldn't he just keep his weird feelings bottled up like his creeper mind reading brother?

"Lee, are you alright?" Jacob's question caught me off guard and I realized I had been staring at the stairs. "You kind of zoned out there for a second. I know the S-E-X noises are distracting, but just try to block it out like you would if it was your parents."

I rolled my eyes at the way he spelt the word sex instead of said it for the kid leeches sake. I mean come on dude she drank blood and tried to _eat _her way out of her mother so hearing mature words wouldn't be such a big deal around her. "I wasn't even thinking about that. What do I care if they do it or not? I was staring off in to space because I am bored out of my fucking mind."

His eyes filled with confusion which I had grown used to since everything confused Jacob. He was sweet, but he wasn't all that bright. "If you knew you were going to be bored then why did you ask if you could tag along?"

"I was hoping that we would catch them eating a human and I would be able to kill them all." I stated seriously trying to forget that it had been my idea to come here in the first place.

I have no idea what I had even been thinking. Perhaps some part of my brain wanted to know if the leech was suffering without me. Watching him suffer would almost be as good as using him to fuck my pain away. Maybe I was twisted and screwed up on the inside that I wanted to hurt myself since it seemed to be the one thing I was good at. All I know is that yes I had wanted to come here and now I was regretting my brilliant idea. He was married and sure I could tell he was suffering and I got a little enjoyment out of it, but not as much as I had hoped. In the end it had not been worth it. I had ended up suffering as much as him if not more so and the worst part was he didn't even realize it. He probably didn't even care, but I don't care so it doesn't matter.

"Lee you look as if you are about to cry." My idiot best friend pointed out with a frown. "Are you sure that you are okay and there isn't anything you want to talk about?"

"_Oh Jasper I love you!" _I heard the mini parasite cry from upstairs and I knew I had to get out of here before I did something stupid.

Settling a glare firmly on my face I growled at my Alpha. "If I look like I am about to cry it is only because your little imprint smells like undead ass. I need some fresh so I am going to run the boarder. When you are ready to go home phase and I will meet you back here."

With that said I was out the door. I phased almost as soon as I was out the door. I felt my clothes tear as my paws hit the earth and I took off. I needed to get out of there and fast. I wondered if I ran fast enough if I could out run these stupid feelings. I _did not _want or need this emotional shit. I hated Jasper fucking Whitlock Hale for making me feel this way. If this was a new form of torture he had created then it was damn affective not that I would ever tell him that. He didn't need any more ammunition to use against me.

I ran as fast as I my feet would carry me when I came to realize I could still hear _them. _Where they deliberately being loud to try and get to me? Did Jasper know it was working? Did he know I left because I could no longer take it? I couldn't be sure, but what I did know is that I _had_ to find a way to get rid of these feelings which meant I had to talk to scar head. There was a conversation I was most definitely not looking forward to and yet when did I ever get what I wanted? I guess my good luck wasn't going to start today, but then again tomorrow was another day and I could hope.

TBC….

**AN: A lot of you wanted to see Leah's POV and so I gave it to you. I hope that you all liked it and you know I would love to hear your thoughts. Let me know what you would like to see next and I will do my best to try and make it happen.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

This could not be fucking happening. I mean yes I had wanted to hurt Leah for hurting me, but I never expected for this to happen. I never planned for the she-wolf to show up a few days later when my family was gone on a hunt to inform me that she would be leaving for an undetermined amount of time. That totally blew me out of the water. She was leaving? Where would she go? How would she be able to afford to take care of herself? Had she even thought this through? Did she want me to stop her? What was I supposed to do when put in this situation?

"You're leaving?" I asked stupidly as I stared at her. Her expression was calm while mine on the other hand was panicked. Sure her leaving would make things easier, but I didn't want her to leave. "Where are you going to go?"

"I'm not sure." She stated with a shrug of her shoulders as if it did not really matter. "I guess wherever the open road takes me."

I sat down on the couch and wondered if vampires had the ability pass out. "Well when are you coming back?"

"I don't know that either." Leah replied sitting down next to me looking forward. "It could be maybe a year or maybe less or maybe even longer. All I know is that I need to clear my head. This place isn't good for me."

I scoffed since I knew what she really meant. "You mean I am not good for you."

"If you want to put it that way then yes, but this isn't just about you leech." Finally she twisted her body around to look at me. "I am never going to get a fresh start while I am trapped here. I used to have plans and when I phased I kind of pushed them to the side in order to follow my supposed destiny, but since your family is not a threat I don't see why I can't leave the boys the job of protecting the town from the occasional stray parasite while I follow my dreams you know?"

"Why can you not follow your dreams and stay here?" I asked looking in to her eyes for any signs of the same turmoil I was currently feeling. "If you want to go to college there are plenty of collages in this area."

"It would defeat the purpose of my little road trip." Leah argued as she looked right back at me causing our gazes to lock. "I need to do this for me. I need to get out and see the world. If I stay here I am going to die from my bitterness and as much as I am sure it would give my pack pleasure to see me dead I really would rather take a different route. I am tired of feeling the way I do and hurting everyone around me."

I frowned deeply and took the change to set my hand over hers. "You don't hurt everyone Leah. There are times that you made people living and dead happy."

"They are rare and how can you of all people want me to stay?" She asked her dark eyes narrowing in suspicion. "When I leave you and Mrs. Sunshine can fix all of your problems. You won't have to worry about feelings or whatever you want to call them anymore. Why do you want me to stay?"

"Because I care." I admitted squeezing her hand. "If you are running because of me then I will leave you be. We will only interact when our families do and even then I will stay as far from you as possible. Leaving is going to destroy your brother Leah and he needs you darlin' you know that. You may think he will be better off without you, but it is not the truth. You are the one person Seth cares about more than anything else. Please stay for your brother and try to be happy and make a life here. Give it a chance, hell, give it six months and if you are still unhappy then I will help you pack your bags."

The Quilette woman let out a deep sigh and for a moment I feared she was going to argue with me, but to my surprise when she spoke it was in a whispered tone and not at all an argument. "What about this thing between us? When things get rough I come to you and you do the same thing by running to me. How is this going to work? You know I don't love you or whatever and you care. How is that going to end well for anybody involved?"

I thought about what she was saying for a few minutes. She did have a point and yet I was not sure if I would be able to let her go if she asked. I loved Alice yes, but Leah and I had this dark connection and being without her for a week had been hard so forever would be out of the question. "We will let it play out however the chips may fall. Alice will understand and since she pushed us together in the first place she cannot ask me to stop now. Whatever happens is going to happen and we will simply have to deal with it."

"Right well now that is settled I have to go home and unpack everything." She mumbled slowly getting to her feet and slipping her hand from mine. "For the record there are times when you don't always make me miserable as well and that are why I thought you should know I was going to leave. I am not completely heartless you know."

"I know that." I told her standing up and opening the front door for her. "You have a heart Leah, but it just isn't mine. You need not worry about whatever feelings I may have. I will deal with them on my own. I am glad you aren't leaving darlin'."

TBC…

**AN: I thought it was important for them to get on even ground. I mean he cares for her and sure she cares for him, but she won't ever admit it. How do you all think Alice is going to react when she finds out he convinced Leah to stay? I hope that you all liked this chapter. You know I love hearing your comments so do not be shy.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

"What do you mean she left?" I asked my wife a few days later when I came home from a hunt to learn that Leah had apparently left even though she said she wouldn't. My wife was absolutely thrilled while I on the other hand was a millisecond from freaking out. "How long has she been gone? When did you find out? _How _did you find out?"

Alice was practically dance where she stood with a huge smile on her face. I think she expected me to be happy as well, but I did not think I had the capability right now. "Seth came by earlier to tell us. I guess she left in the middle of the night with nothing other a note telling Sue and Seth that she needed to get away for a while. She only took some money she had saved and the clothes on her back. She left her cellphone behind and everything. It's almost as if she wanted to disappear."

I knew exactly why she had not taken her phone. The she-wolf was afraid I would try to trace her location by phone and she would have been right. That had been the first thought which crossed my mind. Now I would have to think of a different way to track her. If she left only with her money I would not be able to trace a paper trail or credit card receipts. She had done a good job of making it so that nobody would be able to find her, but everyone slips up and I would find out how she had and that would lead me to her.

Without saying another word I went up to the room I shared with Alice. I heard her follow me and I knew that she was curious to what I was doing, but right now I wasn't focused on her. As quickly as I could move I took a suitcase from the walk in closet along with some of my clothes before shoving them in to the suitcase and going to the small night table where we had some money put away along with all my credit cards, my passport, J. Jenks contact information, and anything else I would need when I traveled. Once had all of those things stuffed in to the suitcase as well I grabbed my car keys off of the side table next to the bed. I would have to take my Mercedes instead of my bike which would've been faster, but I couldn't carry a suitcase on my motorcycle.

"You are going after her aren't you?" Alice whispered and for the first time I realized she was standing right next to me with a heartbroken expression on her face. "Why can't you just let her go Jasper? She obviously doesn't want to be here or be with you. Is it because you think you ran her off? Jazz she wanted to leave and you don't have to follow her."

"Yes I do." I argued picking up my suitcase off the floor.

Alice let her golden eyes trail over my face. "Why?"

"I have to go because I love her." As soon as the words left my mouth I was frozen. I hadn't meant for them to come out, but now that I'd spoken them I knew it to be true. I was in love with Leah Clearwater. "I love you as well Alice and I think I always will, but I need to go after her. I need to know that she is alright. You understand that don't you?"

"No I don't understand!" She snapped angrily as she began to pace the room with vampire speed. "I do not understand why you feel the need to chase her and drag her back here. She doesn't want to be with you and I am here. She was only supposed to be a fuck to help you deal with your darker urges Jasper. It wasn't supposed to become more. When did it become more? When did I become not enough?"

I set my suitcase back down and rubbed the back of my neck. How do I explain this to Alice without hurting her? "It is not that you are no longer enough Alice. You are perfect, but Alice is imperfect. I love you for the amazing woman you are, but I love Leah for all of her faults. I understand now why Bella was torn between Edward and Jacob. You can love more than one person at a time."

"So she is your Jacob?" My tiny wife asked sadly. "Or is she your Edward? Would you stay here with me if I asked you too? Would it make a difference if I told that I have feelings for someone else as well?"

My head snapped up, but the jealousy I expected to feel wasn't there. "Who?"

"Nahuel." She said with a small sad smile. "I am not sleeping with him if that is what you want to know. We haven't gotten that far yet, but we have come close a time or two. You were always with Leah and I never expected you to be with her all of the time and I got lonely. Nahuel was there and we just connected. He wants me to leave you so that we can be together."

"He has always been fascinated by you." I replied truthfully since I had known since meeting the half vampire he had a thing for Alice. I could feel it after all. "Do you want to be with him?"

Alice shrugged as she fiddled with her fingers a very human trait which was odd since she did not remember having ever been human. "I don't know what I want Jazz. What is it that you want?"

I reached down to pick up the suitcase once more. "Right now I want to find Leah so I can't have this discussion right now Alice. Every second that passes is more time she has to run. If I am going to go I have to do it now. I swear we will figure this out when I come back, but just know that if you love Nahuel you should be with him. I want you to be happy Ali and it is all I have ever wanted. I will be back when I find her. I promise to call if I can since you will not be able to see me in you visions."

TBC…

**AN: I thought it was so funny that in the last chapter you all wanted her to run and I had already had this planned. You know I would love to hear your thoughts since I love hearing from you. Let me know what you all thought of this chapter.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

A month has passed since I learned that Leah Clearwater was gone and left to follow her. The first few days Alice would call me almost nonstop, but the calls were frequently less and less each day. It was actually kind of a relief not to worry about Alice while I was searching for Leah. I needed my attention focused solely on this task and nothing else. Having my energy torn between searching for the female shape shifter and trying to keep Alice calm and convincing her I would eventually come out was almost draining and I am a vampire with endless amounts of energy at my disposal.

As it was I wasn't having much luck in finding the she-wolf. She knew how to hide her tracks and if the tracker James was still alive I doubt even he could find her. I had traced her to Virginia with the help of my old human friend J. Jenks. He'd gotten in touch with a private detective who had managed to find living in Virginia, but that was all he could find. He had no idea what her address was or even where she worked or in what kind of job. Basically I just started asking around at local bars hoping to find someone who may have seen her.

"Oh yeah I know her." The bartended of some filthy club said with a laugh showing off his yellowed and decaying teeth. I hadn't expected him to know anything and was pleasantly surprised to find out different. "She works over at Miley's Paradise as a waitress and stripper. I've tried to get her to come and work for me, but she is a stubborn lass that one."

"Yes that she indeed is." I agreed gritting my teeth against the wave of lust coming off the man as he thought about Leah. "Do you know where she is staying by any chance? I am an old friend and I wanted to surprise her, but I cannot do that if I don't know where she is staying."

The human bartender narrowed his eyes in suspicion. I did not need my power to know that he didn't trust me. "How do I know you aren't lying to me? That girl is running from something or someone and for all I know it could be you. I just do not feel comfortable about giving you her address, but if you want I can give you directions to Miley's place. As far as I know she is working tonight."

I cursed under my breath in frustration. I did not want to try and talk to Leah with a bunch of people around and yet it looked as if I had no other choice. "That would be great thank you."

After getting directions I made my way to Miley's Paradise and used my charm to work my way inside without having to wait in the long ass line. People were packed in to the small space and I made my way to the bar where a girl around Leah's age was taking orders. "Hi I was told that I could find my friend Leah here. She has darker skin and dark hair. She loves to bitch and is very sarcastic."

The girl nodded with a laugh. "I know who you are talking about, but around here we call her Star. She is actually getting ready to perform on stage. Would you like me to tell her that she has a visitor?"

With a charming smile I shook my head no. The last thing I needed was to give Leah warning so she could run again. "No darlin' that is perfectly alright. I think I am going to just watch her perform and then speak with her privately. Thank you for the offer though I really appreciate it."

"It's not a problem." She told while flipping her blond hair and batting her eyelashes in my direction. "Any friend of Star's is a friend of mine. If you would like a private dance later then you know where to find me. Star doesn't do private shows she says it is no better than being a hooker, but I disagree with her. Private dancers make a lot of money."

After she finished speaking I left and made a beeline for the stage. The last dancer had just finished and it was Leah next. I took a seat at an empty table as the tune to a song I was unfamiliar with started. From the left corner of the stage Leah made an appearance. She was dressed up like a gypsy with half of her face all covered up. The thin material was light blue and I could tell she was wearing a dark blue bra and pantie set underneath the sheer number. She kept her head down as her hips started rocking to beat catching the attention of those all around her. It took all of my strength not to kill every man in that bar who was currently lusting after her.

The Quilette female finally looked up and I saw the shock on her features when she saw me sitting there with my eyes glued to her. I guess with all of the people in the bar she did not smell me upon my arrival. I thought for sure she would run again by the expression on her face and yet she stated firm and went back to her dancing with her eyes locked on me the entire time. I watched her body wrap around the stripper pole as she used the strength in her legs her lift her up so she could stand on her hands before bringing her legs up over her head and wrapping them around the metal bar so she could swing herself up and slide down the pole before landing in a split slowly undoing her top before letting it fall to the floor forgotten.

I watched her perform in awe of every move she made. She was absolutely amazing at what she did. The way she manipulated the pole to work with her and the way she used her extra strength as a shifter to turn it in to a beautiful and sexy dance just astonished me. Before I knew it she was finished with her dance as people cheered and men handed her money. I got up and pulled a hundred out of my wallet as I went to hand it to her. When she reached out to take it I grabbed her wrist to stop her from running off as soon as she had collected the money.

"I think that you and I need to have a talk." I whispered still holding her wrist in mine. "How about you give me a private show out back in one of the rooms? You'll say yes if you want some hundred dollar bills to add to the one I have just given you."

TBC…

**AN: Another chapter before I rest for a bit, but I hope that you all liked it. There are only a few chapters of this story left with the way I have planned it. It is kind of going to have an open ending so that if I want a sequel in the future I can do one. Let me know what you all think.**

**Please R&R like always!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

Leah's POV-

I couldn't believe that fucking leech had found me after I worked so hard to keep my location secret. Maybe I was being optimistic by thinking the scarred wonder would forget me once I had left. I never thought he would follow me like a puppy looking for its master. I never expected to look up while dancing and see him standing there looking as if he found the end of the rainbow. I should have been prepared for this and yet I wasn't. Damn, couldn't that little pixie keep her husband on a lease? Did she not see that I had done her favor by leaving? The creepy Tinkerbelle could have had her husband back if only she had better control of him. Then again this was the same undead woman who let her husband screw another woman so for all I know she could be fine with this. She could have been the one to push him in to finding me, but I highly doubted that.

When he had the _nerve _to ask for a private dance so we could talk all I wanted to do was lunge and tear his throat out, but I didn't because there were humans in the area and I had no doubt someone would be killed if a shifter and vampire war broke out. So I did what I had to do in order to keep the peace. If he wanted a dance he would get one it did not mean we had to chat like we were old friends or something. After leading him to a room in the back I shut and locked the door before walking over to the stereo system and started looking through all the CD's. If he wanted to be treated like a customer then he was about to get his fucking wish granted.

"Do you have a certain song in mind or am I free to choose?" I asked without bothering to look at him. I didn't need to see him staring at me because I could feel his stare as he remained silent from where he sat on the couch. "I guess that means you are giving me the choice then. A private dance is a thousand dollars and I want the money up front before I dance. It's just the way I roll."

By the time I had put a CD in he was standing behind me.. I could feel his cold breath that he did not need on my neck. "How much is it for a simple conversation? As much as I appreciate your dancing skills I traveled for a long time and I would much rather talk."

"If you want to talk then I would suggest not coming to a strip club." I said with a hint of annoyance. "If you pay me five grand I will give you five minutes to say whatever it is you have to say. It's a grand a minute so however long you talk is how much you will pay me."

A hint of a smile played at the corner of his mouth as he pulled out his wallet. "Well then I suppose I should probably get my money's worth. We will start with five minutes and then if I still want to talk when they are up we will figure out the rest."

I held my hand out as he handed me a pile of bills. The smug bastard counted it as he handed to me so that I wouldn't use that as an excuse to talk as little as possible. "The time starts now."

"Well then darlin' let's get on with it shall we?" He stated with his Southern accent coming out more than it usually did to begin with. "I suppose we should probably start off with something easy. How have you been since you left after telling me you wouldn't run?"

This time I was the one who smirked. "I've been really good actually. I have a nice paying job and a place of my own. I am even thinking about starting college when I save up enough money. How have you been without me? Is the little wife getting on your nerves yet?"

His polite smile curled in to a snarl when I mentioned his blood drinking pixie. She always had been a sore subject and if I wanted to get rid of he sooner rather than later bringing her up in conversation seemed the way to go about it. "Alice is doing just fine thank you for asking. She and Nahuel have gotten rather close. As for me I haven't been in the best shape all things considered. I have spent the last month looking for you."

"Well you found me." I muttered sitting on the floor instead of on the couch next to him. "Why did you follow me? You had to know that if I didn't tell you where I was going that meant I did not want you to come after me."

"I missed you." He told me as his golden eyes turned sad.

"You missed the sex." I corrected because nobody would miss me. They probably threw a party when they realized I had left.

Moving faster than I could comprehend he kneeled down in front of on the floor. He didn't touch me and for that I was thankful, but his creepy stare didn't give me happy fuzzy feelings. "No Leah, I missed _you. _I could easily find someone else to have sex with. I am not denying that I miss sex with you, but it is not the thing I miss the most. I miss how sometimes we would talk afterwards about anything that popped in to our heads. I miss how when one of us was hurt after a particularly rough time together we would take care of them. I miss the times when you would come to the house with Jacob and challenge me at Chess. I miss holding you when you slept. I never let you know I was holding you because you would have flipped out, but you look so innocent when you sleep I just wanted to keep you safe for a little while. As odd as this may sound I miss you for everything you are and everything you are not. I love you Leah and I know emotions scare you, but it is the truth."

I shook my head wanting to deny his words. "You don't love me scar head. You love your wife you remember her? You love the woman you married."

"You can love more than one person at a time. I have seen it with my own eyes." He argued looking as if he wanted to caress my cheek, but thinking better of it the last second. "I am not denying I love Alice all I am saying is she is not the only one who has my heart anymore."

For some reason this made me angrier than I had ever been. I scoffed and jumped to my feet in an effort to get away from him. "You can't have us both leech that is not fair to either of us! God you really thought that you could come here and convince me to be your mistress forever? I'll admit I do care about you, but I won't be your dirty little not so secret anymore. I _can't _do it anymore. If you want me then you want it all with me. If you want her then you need to give your relationship your everything. I want a life Jasper and not the half of a one I have been living. I want to be happy again. You obviously do not know what you want and I won't be the one hurt by a love triangle again. I don't think I would make it this time around. So just go home and let me live my life. If you love me like you claim then show me. Show me that you love me by doing what is in my best interest."

His whole expression crumbled and I had to fight back the urge to comfort him. "Leah I need you in my life! I love you don't you get it? If you are asking me to choose then you need to realize that I came looking for you. I left Alice to find _you. _Just come home with me so that we can figure this all out. We will find a way to make it work I promise you that. I swear I won't hurt you again."

I was so tired of trying to get my point across. I loved him and while I may not be able to say it out loud I could say it to myself. I knew that he was never going to leave his wife and I just couldn't do it any longer. It seemed as if I would have to get mean to get him to leave. "I don't love murderers and that is what you are. What we had is over and done with so stop being a bitch about it. Go back to your wife and leave me the fuck alone!"

Before he had a chance to respond the door burst open as the lock broke and Alice Cullen along with the half breed Nahuel stood there. It was the pixie who spoke and her comment was directed at me and not her husband. "I came here because I have made my choice and now it is time for you to make yours. Jasper and I are never going to be the way we were and you know I accept it. I have only ever wanted his happiness and this is my fault so I have come to fix it."

TBC…

**AN: There is one or two chapters left. I do not think I am going to have Leah and Alice fight because it just doesn't flow well with the ending. The start of this was so dark and sad that I just really want a happy ending you know? I will take your advice though so if you want a fight I will give you one, but be warned I will twist it to work to my liking. Let me know what you all thought of this chapter!**

**Please R&R like always!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!**

When Alice showed up I thought for sure there was going to be a fight of some sort. After all she had traveled so far whatever she had to do must be important in her mind. It was odd when I saw her holding hands with Nahuel. Before Leah and I got together I would have ripped his arms off for looking at her and yet right now I felt nothing towards Alice. I still cared for her, but it wasn't the intense passionate love we'd once had together. I am not sure when it happened, but somewhere down the road my feelings had shifted over to the she-wolf. Alice would always be important and yet I think we both knew that the time we shared was over. There was no use fighting and causing problems. At least we would be able to part on good terms.

"Fucking hell people what is wrong with you?" Leah snapped and we all turned to look at her. Her face was angry and full of disbelief. "You are acting like your trading in cars or something. Doesn't it bother you at all mini leech knowing that the man you spent years with has feelings for someone else? Scar face does it bother you knowing your wife is perfectly fine with the fact you want to be with or that she has moved on herself? Nahuel or however you say it I know this probably doesn't bother you because you're a weirdo, but you have to realize that you can't swap partners like you change underwear."

Alice tilted her head as she gave Leah a once over. I had to admit that Alice's reaction was different than what I had expected. I thought she would be angry or hurt because she was when I left and yet in the month I had been gone she'd apparently worked out her feelings. "Leah I know that you probably don't understand how I can be so excepting of this and tell you the truth I am not sure why I am. Jasper and I have been together for such a long time and I think after a while, long before you came in to the picture, our love for each other changed in to something different. We only had each other before we found the Cullen's and because of that we clung together too afraid to let go and be alone once more. Now that we have a family we are able to let the other go. I have found happiness with Nahuel that I never had with Jazz and he is able to open to you in ways that he never could with me. He loves you and you love him. It would be wrong for me to try and keep the two of you apart."

Leah did not look overly convinced as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What happens when you realize that you still love him? What if I do go back and we manage to make things work, but then out of the blue you realize that you want him? How is that going to work? Either way someone is going to be hurt and sides will be taken. It is just easier if I do not come back. I do not want to be dragged in to shit anymore. I will not be able to take it if I give him a chance and end up with a broken heart for a second time."

My soon to be ex-wife nodded in understanding while I chose to remain quiet. "Well if you do not take a chance on love you will never find happiness and I know you want to be happy. We may never be friends Leah, but I have always respected you. You are an extremely strong person to go through everything you have and honestly if it were me I doubt I would be able to handle it all. Jasper is a good man and he needs someone who knows that. He needs someone who can not only accept his sweet caring side, but his darker side as well and I think you can do that. I knew you would never give him a real chance if you thought you were tearing us apart. Despite what everyone says about you I know that you would hate to destroy a relationship. It wasn't you that tore Jasper and I together so I came here to give you my blessing. I want you to be with him and become an official part of the family. I will not let anyone say anything to you or anything bad about you."

I looked at Alice in awe of how she was taking the situation and I knew some of the credit should go to Nahuel. He was obviously a very good influence on her. "Thank you for coming here Alice. You know that I will never regret the time we spent together and if Nahuel ever does anything to hurt you I will rip his arms from his body and hide them somewhere he will never be able to find them."

"I would rather die before I would hurt Alice." The half breed spoke in a firm yet soft tone. "I hope that you and I may be able to become friends Jasper. I have nothing other than respect for you and your family."

"I hope that as well Nahuel." I told him sincerely before turning my attention to Leah who still looked as she had fallen in to the Twilight Zone. "Darlin' you have no excuses now to stop you from coming home. Nobody is going to say anything to you and if they do they will face the wrath of Alice and that is something even I fear. So what do you say? Will you come back with me and give us a real chance? You are never going to find happiness if you don't take a chance."

"I guess giving in to my urges couldn't hurt. I mean after all they brought me you." She said with a small grin before wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me deeply. I knew that our relationship would be hard and yet it would be worth it. In the end fighting for something you love is _always _worth it.

THE END!

**AN: Originally this was supposed to be a one-shot so I think that ending it now is good. A sequel may happen in the future, but I have no decided yet. I also did not want a fight between Alice and Leah. I wanted Alice to be accepting you know? I mean they are going to have to face so much they didn't need to worry about Alice on top of that. So since this is finished you get to vote on the story I focus on next after Eye of the Vampire. Let me know what you thought about this and if you liked it or not.**

**Please R&R like always!**


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